By Choice
by ashestoashesanddusttodust
Summary: Sebastian hasn't been a PI all that long, but he's already got himself a reputation for solving the really hard cases. It's a rep that keeps work coming, but sometimes he wonders if he shouldn't regret it a bit more than he does. Ruvik x Seb AU
1. Chapter 1

**By Choice  
><strong>

**A Word**: Inspired by a Tumblr post where Seb is a PI and Ruben goes to him to find the arsonists behind the fire. Seb takes it even though he's uneasy and feels like someone's watching him sleep that night. Then it ended with SecretPsycho!Ruvik x Lonely!Sebastian. I had to do it. This bitch isn't done yet though. It keeps kind of growing on me. The first few parts are solid now at least.

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><p>.<p>

"The good thing about changing careers," Joseph remarks unnecessarily as he looms over Sebastian's shoulder and _creepily_ watches him fight with the expense sheets, "is you can't afford to feed more than one vice at a time now."

"Fuck off, Joseph," Sebastian grunts and pushes back from his desk hard enough to roll over one of the man's shoes before going back to trying to figure out where the hell two grand in profit disappeared to. It sure as fuck didn't go to whiskey or cigarettes despite Joseph's dry remarks.

It's a common and often repeated line from the young man, and Sebastian has gotten used to hearing it. It's still a kick in the gut knowing how badly he'd scared his former partner with the drinking. It'd never effected his work and he never went in with so much as a whiff of it on him, but Joseph had never seen it as a thing Sebastian did off duty. Mostly because he was the one who always seemed to find his sorry ass in the bars after Myra, or stumbling down the streets trying to get home.

It wasn't too surprising when Joseph confessed how very far he'd been willing to go to try and 'save' him from it before Sebastian had gotten fed up of being stonewalled at the precinct and called it quits with them. Hell, if he'd stayed on a few more weeks having IA called down on him by his own partner probably would've ended up with the same results. Sebastian out of the precinct and being forced to confront all the shit in his life stone cold sober.

"Don't you have something better to do with your day off?" Sebastian finds a good chunk of the money and nearly groans. Kidman. Of course he's paying her, the work she does is top notch and her filing system actually makes sense unlike the last college kid he tried hiring to help around the office. All electronic files with no paper back up at all. Which would theoretically be fine if Sebastian didn't have an on/off relationship with the power company that was almost permanently in an off phase at the beginning of his business. "A life to live? Socks to iron?"

"A partner to check on and risk getting fired, or worse, for bringing him highly sensitive information?" Joseph answers and circles around to sit in the seat in front of the desk. One gloved finger tapping pointedly on the closed manila folder that Sebastian is itching to start chasing down. There's names and addresses in it and it's the best lead he's seen yet for finishing Myra's case, but he's going to have to sit on it for a while if he doesn't want to get Joseph in hot water.

It's not buddies to get Joseph into this shit. Plus it'd lose him one of his most reliable informants, and a good chunk of money to boot because like hell he'd let Joseph just hang in the wind with no job. Which would be a problem as he's having a hard enough time with just Kidman on his payroll.

"Bullshit," Sebastian finds the rest of the money in the unlabeled category of 'bribes' as usual, and tries not to remember how much of that was just wasted on bad leads this month as he sets the sheets aside. He's made enough to eat and keep his relationship with the electric company going good for another month, and that's really all he needs most days. He wasn't expecting to make it rich when he became a PI after all. "You came to stand around and stare moodily at my secretary. Just ask her out to dinner already, Joseph. Or coffee. That's what you hipster kind do right? Coffee and book readings?"

Joseph makes a point to adjust his ridiculously in fashion glasses -ridiculous because Sebastian knows he got the frames from his Grandpa and wore the damn things before they were considered 'hip'- just to be a snarky little shit without having to say anything. "Speaking of-"

"I knew it!" Sebastian crows, because he's been calling that shit for months now and Joseph's remained stubbornly close mouthed about it.

"Speaking of," Joseph repeats, forcefully ignoring Sebastian's laughter with the ease of year of friendship. "Where is your secretary? Usually she's the one riding your back to get the finances done on time."

"Something came up. Personal," Sebastian waves the questioning look away because Kidman's good at her job but she isn't all that forthcoming to him about her private life, and Sebastian has come to respect that. He doesn't like it, but he doesn't have to really. "She left me a list of things to do before going though."

With an ultimatum because Kidman's been around just long enough to figure out how things work with him. Maybe if she sticks around a little longer he can actually start to get to know her well enough to use her _first_ name. Or at least learn why she prefers her last over her first. He's seen her answer her own personal cell phone with a clipped 'Kidman' after all.

"And that was the last thing on the list?" Joseph asks with honest enough sounding curiosity that's strange from him. He's dragging his feet about something, Sebastian just doesn't know what yet.

"First. I've actually got a client coming in at four. Figured I'd get this done now and get going after that," Sebastian responds and looks his former partner over critically. The man's wearing better clothes than he usually does. Joseph likes his clothing neat and fashionable, but he's also realistic enough to know he gets into too much shit on the job to wear things that actually _are_ nice. The shoes he's wearing were shiny before Sebastian rolled over them, and he's been in one too many foot chases to wear shoes that'll take a shine to work. Joseph's dressed up nice for a reason, and it sure as hell isn't to impress Kidman. "Are your parents in town?"

Joseph's lips tighten just that extra little bit to let him know he's hit it right on the head. The Odas are a great family and Joseph loves his parents dearly. He just loves them best when they're not in his immediate living space and asking about the fifty grandbabies he apparently made a blood promise to give them when he was five.

"Should've made a move on Kidman earlier. Would've saved yourself a lot of trouble if you had a girlfriend to introduce to your parents," Joseph says with a grin because he's met the Odas and has seen Joseph's tiny slip of a mom verbally beat him from one side of a room to the next over his lack of dating prospects.

"Are you serious?" Joseph snorts before reluctantly dragging himself up out of the seat. "If I so much as _mention_ a woman's name to her now she'll be sending out wedding invitations and planning nurseries."

"Say hi to your parents for me," Sebastian says with a grin as he starts to put his paperwork away in the proper folder so he doesn't have to watch his coffee for sudden foul tasting and/or slightly poisonous additions.

Joseph mutters something back but he's too far out the door for him to catch it. Probably for the best. Sebastian smirks at the now closed door and stretches. He's got about an hour to kill before his next paying client comes in. He reaches for the folder Joseph brought.

The information is precious and Sebastian can't ever thank Joseph enough for unbending enough to share it. His former partner doesn't like doing this. The risk to him is huge, but he does it anyway. Usually without complaint. Sebastian knows it's as much their friendship as the fact that Joseph sees how very little the investigators are doing with Myra's case.

The little they're doing with just about _every_ missing persons case coming in now. Badly and obviously enough that Joseph, while still the most reliable source he has, is no longer the only cop who comes to his office with information. It hasn't escaped very many people's attention how the solve rate at the precinct's missing persons branch all but crashed when Sebastian took off. Something to feel proud over, he supposes, but it's hard to feel pride over something as painful as people disappearing every day in the city, and never being found.

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	2. Chapter 2

**By Choice  
><strong>

**A Word**: Ibid.

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><p>.<p>

Kidman's notes are brief as ever. Slanted to the wrong side and slightly smudged meaning she was doing something when the call came in and had to use her left hand to write the information. Which is brief. Just a name and a very unhelpful note about finding someone.

Sebastian spends the fifteen minutes before the meeting going through the internet, and finding himself a little surprised that he actually finds something on it that looks relevant.

Ruben Victoriano is a wealthy recluse according to the things he's pulling up. Inherited the family fortune last year when his parents died in a car crash and has only been seen through his infrequent and random donations of money.

It's more information than he was thinking he'd get when he started the search, but a lot less than he'd expect considering the man is apparently loaded. Usually that kind get a lot more attention and notice. Unless they're paying an obscene amount of money to _not_ be noticed. In which case the first few links he'd have found would be _about_ that fact. It's an interesting fact to puzzle over as he waits the last few minutes, but Sebastian doesn't realize exactly how scarce the information on the internet is until he sees his client walk through the door.

Sebastian's first impression of Ruben Victoriano is that the man is a walking mummy, and Sebastian's been around long enough to know why. To take in the barely seen edges of scar tissue that peek out from the ends of the bandages that cover most of his face and hands for an explanation even before the man finishes closing the door behind him.  
>Burns are ugly and painful, and going by the amount of bandages and the very careful set of Victoriano's body he's going to bet the man has a lot of them hidden under his clothing. Sebastian winces as he thinks about that kind of damage and then about his office. It's on the fifth floor with no working elevator. Not a problem for him or most of his clients, but Victoriano probably isn't in as good of a shape as most people. A fact that he reads in every line of the man's body when he pauses at the door after it clicks shut. Head down and breathing labored for a few almost unnoticeable seconds before he seems to gather himself enough to straighten up and turn around.<p>

There's no trace of the effort that must have cost him when he faces Sebastian fully, and he almost admires the will that must've taken but get sidetracked fast. The hair on the back of Sebastian's neck stands up on end when two piercing blue eyes lock unerringly onto him. He can practically _see_ Victoriano's will in those eyes. They blaze with something that doesn't let Sebastian feel pity for him. There's nothing hurt or worn out in that gaze and Sebastian feels uncomfortably like he's being taken apart piece by piece by the bright blue eyes that look him over from across the room. Analyzing him in a matter of seconds it seems.

"Mr. Victoriano," Sebastian checks the urge to get up and roll a seat out for the man. He doesn't think he's the kind of guy who likes being pandered to in any way. Not with that kind of stare.

"Ruben, Mr. Victoriano is still my father," he says as he makes his way across the office. Slow but sure in his movements. Ruben's voice is deep and hoarse, suggesting some of the burn damage went to his lungs and throat too as he takes the client's chair. A to-go cup is placed on his desk, and Sebastian is startled enough to realize he hadn't seen the man was holding two of them. At his confused look Ruben shrugs, a minimal movement that draws attention to the bandages around his neck. "Ms. Kidman's suggestion."

"Right," Sebastian sighs and makes a reminder on a nearby pad of paper to yell at her for her subtle manipulation into trying to get him to update the coffee pot. It's old and the stuff comes out tasting burnt no matter what she tries. Sebastian _likes_ it that way to be frank, and he likes the fact that it was free even more.

He's not going to turn down free coffee though, not from a client, and the cup is still warm when he picks it up. The liquid is just warm enough to drink but not too hot to burn, and he covers a wince at the word choice his mind went to with a healthy swig of black coffee. No sugar or cream, but a touch of something that reminds him of cinnamon.

"Thanks," the spicy flavor seems to fill his mouth and Sebastian puts the cup aside for the moment. He pulls the pad of paper close though he won't write much of anything down at first.

Out of habit he sizes up his client. Pushing past the obvious. Ruben is wearing a neat pair of slacks and a button down shirt that is at odds with the black beanie he's wearing. The cloth of each article is neat and clean like it's brand new, or just expensive. The latter is much more likely given Ruben's financial situation. The bandages that cover most of his face and hands are clean and neat too. Not ratty from multiple uses and washings, the folds are precise too which Sebastian knows speaks either of helping hands or experience.

Both eyes, most of his nose, and his mouth are free. His skin is pale and smooth in those areas, and his lashes are light. He probably used to have blonde hair. The angry whorls of scar tissue start just under his lower lip and seem to curl up his covered right cheek. Most of his fingers are free of the bandages and they curl around his own cup with an ease that speaks of a lot of physical therapy. Maybe even surgery given that the skin there is so dark and thick with scar tissue it doesn't seem like they should bend at all.

"What can I help you with, Ruben?" Sebastian asks even though he's got an inkling of what already. He kicks that inkling away though, because assuming is stupid in his line of work.

"I need you to find some arsonists," Ruben says and Sebastian is not surprised as he waits for the really tricky part to come out. He's gained himself a reputation and no one comes to him anymore with simple requests. "From nine years ago."

There it is. Sebastian taps his pen against the paper pad. Nine years is a long time, but probably not long at all for Ruben. Burns take an insane amount of time to heal, and he's heard the recovery takes even longer. That it never really ends for some people. "Go on."

"I was ten and my sister was seventeen," Sebastian blinks at the mention of a sister, but otherwise keeps any surprise in check. He didn't find any mention of her before. "We were playing in a barn when some men set it on fire. We were both badly wounded," Ruben sounds wry and the emotion reflects in his eyes but not his face. His face barely moves at all when he talks. Not even his lips. The muscle along his left check twitches a little, but the rest must be too painful to move. Or doesn't move anymore at all.

"I recovered. Eventually. Laura," Ruben sighs and there's sadness and grief all rolled up in that sound. Sebastian looks down to write her name on his pad and keeps his eyes on the page until he hears Ruben draw in a deep breath. "Laura has not."

"She lived?" Sebastian cautiously asks, because tenses are always difficult things. Especially when used by family. Present tense can mean a lot of things, and it's best to err on the side of caution.

"Unconscious," Ruben says after a pause. His hard focus distant for a moment that Sebastian doesn't notice until he's looking back at him. His voice more even and devoid of the grief he'd heard in it before. "A coma, Mr. Castellanos. For the nine years it has taken me to recover as much as I have."

There's that wryness again. Tempered with a well-worn bitterness that speaks volumes without elaboration. And Sebastian already knows the outcome of this meeting. Technically, the client is supposed to lay out everything in this meeting and Sebastian takes it all in to plan a course of action, but in reality it's Sebastian's way of deciding if he's actually going to take the client on. His way of feeling them out after they'd gone through Kidman's gauntlet of pricing and payment.

"Sebastian, if I'm to call you Ruben," he writes Sister and Fire on the paper along with a question mark. As he studies Ruben more closely.

He's going to take Ruben's case, because part of him is already emphasizing with the young man. There's days where he blinks and every time his eyelids close he sees the flickering of orange and red and yellow. Feels the way superheated air makes the skin on his face go tight and burn. When he can't stand the thought of smoking because the smell is too much, and the taste of ash is in everything.

The part of him that settles only with a few shots of cheap whiskey cries out in understanding, and speaks loudly to take the case. It's the rest of him that's hesitating though. Making him keep assessing and reassessing Ruben. A reaction that's more about his gut than anything else.

There's a stillness about Ruben that's not natural and sets Sebastian's teeth on edge. People move, people fidget. Ruben sits there perfectly still with only the slightest shifting of his chest to give away the fact that he's even alive. People look around. Dart their gaze from person to object and never like lingering on a person even when they're talking to them. Ruben meets Sebastian's eyes without flinching and shows no discomfort in the direct eye contact.

Alarms go off in his mind even as Sebastian realizes it's probably extremely painful for Ruben to fidget. That staying perfectly still just might be the easiest thing for him to do. That the eye contact is probably the only way he can express himself given how much of his face is bandaged. That Sebastian's mind, conditioned by a life time of horror movies, is casting the man in a role he's had no choice in.

Logical explanations that settle his instinct a bit.

"I'm going to be honest," Sebastian says because he needs to be truthful here even as the bare bones of the case make him itch to jump right into it. Fire and children will never be something he can stand by and just let go. "Nine years is a long time for a crime like this. I can try but there's a good chance that I won't find anything after all this time."

"That's fine," Ruben says and his lips tilt up the slightest of fractions. Higher on his left side, giving it an almost crooked look. Sebastian can see how the effort of even that pulls at the scarred skin peeking out from under the bandages. "Trying is more than has been done before."

"What about the investigation?" Sebastian asks because a case like this with a rich family should have had the police all over it. "When the police were called?"

"There was no investigation. My father," Ruben starts then sighs. He closes his eyes and Sebastian feels oddly relieved to not be the focus of them for a few brief seconds. "He was shamed by it. By what I looked like. He decided that he'd rather hide it and pretend it never happened."

"You're shitting me," Sebastian says though it's clear from the sudden ice in the man's eyes that Ruben isn't. He sits back and tries to wrap his mind around that.

It's depressingly easy for Sebastian to accept there are fathers out there who wouldn't care about their children being so massively hurt. Sebastian has dealt with enough pieces of garbage in his life to not be surprised anymore, but that doesn't mean he ever understands it.

His eyes track to the right without thought to one of the filing cabinets. There's a picture of Lily in there. In the largest folder that he adds to every week. He can't imagine a real dad not wanting to hunt down every last person responsible for something like that.

He can't.

"Will you help me?" Ruben asks and Sebastian looks back at the young man who is doing what his dad should've done years ago. Eyes unnervingly bright and fixed because this shit should've already been done. Because Ruben and his sister should've had justice long ago.

"Yeah," Sebastian accepts because he really can't not accept it now. "I'll do it."

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	3. Chapter 3

**By Choice  
><strong>

**A Word**: Ibid.

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><p>.<p>

Ruben is long gone and Sebastian's free coffee goes cold before he drains it anyway and decides to call it a night as he grimaces over the taste of the cinnamon laced liquid that's more sludge than liquid now. Tiredness drags down at his eyelids and bends his head to his desk as he wraps up a pretty fruitless string of search queries.

News articles are slim on details of the fire and Sebastian can almost smell the money Old Man Victoriano threw around to bury this case. He shoots an email to Joseph but doesn't expect much. The family were generous contributors to the KCPD and Sebastian already knows what a couple grand will do to the whole department.

"Corrupt backstabbing assholes," Sebastian makes note of the papers carrying the stories and leaves them on Kidman's desk. Sometimes the physical archives will carry a lot more than the digital ones, and she's got a way of talking her way into those places that he isn't even going to try to mess with.

There's not much else for him to do for the day though. Ruben's set up a meeting with the family lawyer in the morning at the estate the fire happened at. Patrick Higgins isn't family, but he's one of the few people who were physically around at the time of the fire according to Ruben and is the easiest to get a hold of on short notice. The man might know something that Sebastian can use, a short talk will let him know that. From there he can branch out into Elk River. The closest little town where rumors will hopefully still be running. Or can at least be stirred up.

He locks up the office slowly before dragging his tired body the eight blocks it takes to get him home. It's funny how a day of doing nothing but paperwork can drain him so bad. Home is a shitty little apartment he only keeps because his office is too small for a bed and he's too old to be camping out on a cot anymore. The cupboards are filled with canned soup and instant noodles in every flavor, but it doesn't even tempt him when he glances at it so Sebastian heads straight for the bed.

Shedding his clothes he debates on when he should get up. The Victoriano estate is an hour outside of the city. Maybe two depending on morning traffic, but only if he leaves when everyone else is getting ready for work. He's got some leeway to work with for this interview. Before leaving Ruben had made it sound like the lawyer would be available all day. Not surprising given how much money the man has, but Sebastian still wants to be there earlier rather than later.

Sebastian pulls on a clean, but well worn, pair of sweats before squinting down at his cheap alarm clock. The red number blur a bit and it takes him a few fumbling tries to work out the time and buttons. Setting it to go just before morning rush hour should do the trick. Get him up in time to get cleaned and dressed before hitting the road.

He groans as he crawls into his bed. The sheets, like his apartment, are cool. A symptom of the coming winter and he's not looking forward to that at all.

Despite how very tired he is, sleep doesn't come easy for Sebastian. It hasn't for a few years now, but tonight it proves to be an even trickier bitch than usual. Unease chases his thoughts in restless circles. Ruben's story and the few facts he's uncovered mesh, but his instinct is still screaming at him.

There's something wrong with the guy. Something more than just the burns and Sebastian stays awake. Restlessly turning as he wonders if he made a mistake taking the case. It was a decision motivated almost entirely by emotions which is a bad way to be thinking and he damn well knows it.

When he does nod off his dreams are formless except for a pair of laser bright eyes watching him intently as his head fills with the electric bright light of a lightning storm without the sound of thunder to accompany it.

Sebastian wakes with a start a full hour before the alarm is set to go off. Seating and shaking from the dream that fades into nothing as he sits up and sucks in huge lungful's of air. His mouth tastes like copper and the remaining hints of cinnamon, and a low grade headache refuses to let him try for one more hour.

"Fuck it," Sebastian throws the sheets off himself and wanders off to the shower to wash off the lingering sweat and soreness of a bad nights sleep.

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The Victoriano estate looks like something out of those British crime shows Myra used to love watching. Lots of vivid green forest, rolling farm lands, and a Gothic mansion looming over him like it's getting ready to swallow him whole. Sebastian parks next to a shiny, new SUV and gets out. Stretching a bit before pulling out the few creases that've settled into his trench coat before walking up the stairs to the already opening front door.

"Ruben," Sebastian greets the man who looks even more at odds out here than he did in Sebastian's office.

The shadows around his eyes seem deeper and more like bruises than a product of the bandages. A screaming indication the man didn't have a good night of sleep either, and Sebastian can definitely emphasize with that.

Ruben looks like he's wearing the exact same clothing as the day before, minus the head gear. Pressed and neat but against the opulence of the mansion Sebastian steps into it seems faded and unremarkable. Much like Ruben himself oddly enough. Only the laser focus of his eyes seems to stand out here. Sebastian hikes a thumb to the other car. "Your lawyer?"

"Yes," the door shuts with the slightest push and Sebastian fights not to tense until the man's in front of him. Mouth tilting up in a slight smile as he walks further inside. One hand gestures -stiff armed but elegant still- him to follow. "Mr. Higgins worked for my father before me and knows a great deal more than I do still," the last words are growled a bit more and Sebastian can tell this isn't something the man likes, "about everything. It's taken a great deal of persuasion to get him to talk at all today."

The mansion is heated more than is comfortable and he sheds his coat as Ruben leads him through the dimly lit area. There's pictures and expensive looking furniture that Sebastian can't make the detail of as his eyes adjust too slowly from the sun's glare. A door swings open under his hand and Sebastian peers over his shoulder into a suitably grandiose dining room. It's big enough to hold a feast for a group, but only holds the slumped figure of an older man right now.

"Unfortunately, it's more of a," Ruben pauses and Sebastian has no problem reading the distaste he's projecting loud and clear, "_liquid_ courage that's loosened his tongue."

The smell hits Sebastian like a punch then and he grimaces at the smell of stale sweat and spilled whiskey. Like the back end of the late night at the shittiest bar Sebastian's had the bad luck of busting up in his days on a patrol beat. Higgins must've been marinating in the stuff for hours to reach this level.

Despite the bad association, Sebastian's mouth still goes a little dry at the smell of the drink. He's never considered himself an alcoholic by any means, but gut reactions to a stench like this make him doubt that assessment. Just a bit. "Shit. He even going to be coherent?"

"Maybe," Ruben turns around and Sebastian takes a quick step back as the move puts them nearly face to face. He hadn't realized he was practically on top of the other man when they stopped. "I offered a little to get his mouth moving and he took it all. Plus some."

Fantastic. Sebastian eyes the slumped form of the man and the expensive looking decanter near one lax hand. A glass tumbler lies on its side with drops of amber liquid still clinging to the insides. Sebastian has no doubt that it used to be some high end stuff too and mourns the loss privately as he steps around Ruben and into the room.

"Let me see what he has to say then," he looks back to Ruben who hasn't moved back at all and is hovering just beyond the door. According to him Higgins has hinted at things, but held back on revealing the full details. Ruben had said the words with a barely perceptible sneer, but Sebastian can see it from the man's perspective. He's been close to the Victoriano family for a while. Lingering loyalty for the parents and maybe a need to protect the man who used to be a kid.

There's something to find out. You don't get this drunk over the prospect of talking otherwise, and it's going to be something big. Something the man doesn't want to tell Ruben. Sebastian puts a hand on the door and expects a fight when he says, "I might get a bit more out of him alone if he hasn't been spilling anything to you."

"Of course," Ruben smiles again. His smiles last for seconds before his face smooths back into a passive set that Sebastian is getting used to as his usual expression. He backs away from the door without the fight Sebastian was expecting. "I'll be in the library upstairs. It's on the left."

Sebastian waits for him to turn and walk away before shutting the door. Most clients want to be in on every step of a case. Especially an interview like this, but he's going to have to stop thinking about Ruben as a regular client.

His nose is already filtering the smell out when he turns and he sincerely hopes Ruben has people to clean up this room when Higgins is gone. There's not windows at all in it so airing it out is going to be a bitch. Especially if the alcohol sinks into the plush carpet laid out under the table. "All right, buddy. Let's see if you can even remember how to talk."

To his credit, Higgins sits up when Sebastian kicks out the chair next to him. He's not looking straight at him though and barely seems to be aware of him at all even when Sebastian puts a hand to his shoulder to steady him.

"Mr. Higgins, I'm Detective Castellanos," the little lie that makes his job easier rolls off his tongue and seems to get a reaction. "I'd like to ask you a few questions."

"About the. Fire," the man says in a surprisingly coherent way. His voice slurs and slides up and down in volume, but there's enough awareness in him to talk. Now it's just a matter of finding out if he's going to talk sense or nonsense. There's no in-between with this level of drunk. "About the children, yes? You're here to hunt the fire down."

The man breaks off with a very unmanly giggle and his eyes slide shut as he clutches the arms of the chair. The laughter seems to hurt him as one hand comes off the chair to claw at the cloth over his stomach. His suit is blue and stained through. Wrinkles creasing it hard like he's slept the night away down here, and that might explain Ruben's tiredness if he had to babysit the man.

Sebastian's not expecting much at all now but he presses anyway. "Yeah. That. What can you tell me about it?"

"Jealousy!" Higgins gasps and his eyes snap open to focus on him. The brown of his eyes is dulled and glassy but there's an almost manic gleam to them as he leans forward. Both hands clutching the chair again as he pants like he's just run a marathon. "Jealousy set the fire and hid the children! They were always so jealous!"

Shit, Sebastian leans back as the man's breath washes over him. Sour and stale. Higgins is drunk out of his mind. "Who was jealous?"

"Ernesto," Higgins says forcefully. Giggling again before he loses all the tension holding him forward. His head slumps forward almost to his chest and lolls there as he mutters. "Jealous, jealous of flesh and blood. Of farms and land. A lesson had to be learned you know."

"Jesus Christ," the man's making zero sense to anyone but himself. He's not going to get anything at all out of the man until he sobers up.

Sebastian stands up and looks around. After moving the decanter and glass away there isn't much left for Higgins to hurt himself on. He really doubts the man's got enough functioning brain cells left to try standing, and if he falls off the chair he won't be able to get up off the floor enough to be a danger. "Right. Think that's enough for now. Let's try this again later."

"You won't!" Higgins laughs again. Loud and manic. "You won't be able to!" Sebastian moves towards the door and he gets more animated. Rattling the chair as he shakes but doesn't try to get out of it. Both hands clutching the arms like they're all that's holding him down on the planet. "He locked him up! Not just for jealousy but for safety! Yours and mine and everyone's! But he's free! Free! God help us all..."

Sebastian shuts the door as the man hits a crying jag and sighs. He runs a hand over his head and tries not to wonder how many times _he's_ been drunk off his ass and crying like a baby. "Shit."

The mansion is quiet and still as he makes his way to the stairs he saw coming in. He pulls at his tie to loosen it more, and undoes the first button of the day. He usually ends the day with three undone, but he doesn't think he'll make it out of here before that. The heat isn't high enough to make him really sweat but he's regretting the thick undershirt he opted for today because the temperature outside is kind of low.

Ruben apparently takes the cold a little worse than Sebastian does.

He takes the left staircase up to the second floor. Every door he passes has been left ajar, probably for Ruben's benefit. Sebastian had done some looking up on burn victims before leaving his office the other day, just to see what he might need to expect from his client. A lot of what he found seems like the stuff of nightmares to him. It makes him wonder how Ruben, or anyone in his position, can stand to exist.

Ruben isn't hard to find. There's only three doors, and the one on the left opens up on an open room filled with books. It's the brightest room he's been in so far with several lamps on and the curtains over what look like a set of large windows firmly closed. Ruben's is at a desk in the middle of it all that's large enough that it should probably count as a table. He's got a thick book open on the top of it and looks absorbed in it.

A medical book going by the looks of it when Sebastian gets closer. He uses one unbandaged finger and his covered thumb to carefully move and then pinch the pages before turning them over in a practiced move that looks natural.

"Higgins isn't much help," Sebastian says as he walks further into the room. All the books he can see are large and hard covered. He identifies anatomy, medical, and psychology books in all different shades before turning back to Ruben. "He's completely plastered and raving. Did he say anything to you before I got here?"

"No. Most of our conversation was about how he _should_ talk. I figured he wouldn't be any help," Ruben says with a slight trace of irritation before he braces himself on the desk and stands up. "By the time I realized how much he'd drunk it was far too late to warn you."

"It's fine," Sebastian sticks one hand into the pocket of the coat folded over his arm and feels for his pack of cigarettes. He's craving something to offset the need to go out and get himself a drink or two. "I can still go into town and follow up on a few things. You need me to drop him off anywhere?"

Normally Sebastian wouldn't offer, but he's kind of worried about a man as drunk as Higgins being around Ruben. He's seen what a set of several stairs does to the man, and isn't too clear yet on how well the man may or may not be.

"No, I've called someone to pick him up," Ruben walks over to a side table with slow and even steps. There's another decanter that looks like the one from downstairs on it and a set of glasses. "A brother I think. They should be here soon. Do you drink?"

"Not while I'm on the job," Sebastian says without hesitation. He never has even when he kinda feels like he should.

"Good," Ruben pours two glasses of a liquid that's definitely not alcohol going by the pale, cloudy color. Sebastian hadn't even seen the ice in the glass until a cube clinks against the side of one. "I don't keep much here. Drinking doesn't combine well with my medications, but father was a rather...appreciative drinker and there's still a lot of his preferred drinks in reserve hiding around the place."

A drunk, Sebastian translates. The pauses in Ruben's speech, Sebastian is learning, can communicate a lot that his face cannot. He takes the glass Ruben hands him and isn't surprised to find it's lemonade. Tart with just enough sugar to keep his mouth from puckering, and wonderfully cool in the heat of the mansion.

"Thanks," Sebastian tilts the glass and looks around the room again on reflex. Everything is still and quiet, and he wonders if there's someone else somewhere he hasn't seen yet bringing the man ice and drinks. "Do you have any place you think I should start on in town? Anyone you think may have been involved in particular?"

"No one person comes to mind," Ruben sets his glass down and leans against the desk. Tilting his head to the side as he stares at Sebastian for a few seconds. His bright gaze isn't as unnerving. Sebastian must be getting used to it. "I've been rather isolated since the fire. For my protection and peace of mind. I don't go there unless I can help it. Usually I go only to see Laura and the people ignore me."

Better than the outright staring that Sebastian knows people can do -that they probably do only to Ruben's back- but it's still the same shade of asshole. Sebastian feels irritated on Ruben's behalf. Stupid, but he can't help it.

"There's a hospital there?" Sebastian asks because Elk River isn't that large of a place, and -while he's never been there himself- he knows its streets almost by heart. Inspector Brown had official maps placed in his files with notations of incidents and body locations. The reporter, Diaz, had shitty print outs from Google Maps with almost the same notations on it too. Myra never came her during her investigation but the fact that she'd had both maps had been enough for him to damn near memorize them.

"A hospice," Ruben corrects, and that makes more sense. There are two areas listed under doctor's names in the maps he knows. One must be a hospice. "The doctor is good at his job and takes very good care of her for me."

Sebastian adds the hospice to his list of places to visit. He's not really sure what he'll hope to find, but information tends to show up everywhere. He knocks back the rest of his drink fast and licks the remaining traces of sugar off the back of his teeth. The tartness lingers though as he pops another button on his shirt.

"My father used to be a large supporter of the church. Even with all of the scandals around it," Ruben remarks with obvious distaste and that catches Sebastian's attention which the man notices as he elaborates further on it. "They found catacombs under it with bodies. There's rumors that they weren't all old bodies and there was a ritualistic display. Almost cultish. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if there's some truth to it. The church is still under investigation for missing money as well."

Sebastian tugs at his tie, it's almost completely undone now, and thinks about trying to get away with just asking for some of the ice cubes. Rumor mills. Sebastian wonders how Ruben heard them as isolated as he's admitted to being, but rumors are like flies. They spread fast and far with no real solid way of tracking where they came from. The church gets added to his list as well. A major donor would be known there and he's still in the dark as far as the parents' motivations and personalities.

"I'm sure you've heard about the Elk River serial killer, Sebastian," Ruben makes a small noise and doesn't frown, though his lips get a little thin like he wants to. "Do you mind if I call you Seb? It's much easier for me to say."

"Yes," Sebastian says, the word flowing off his tongue before he even really thinks about it or which question he's answering. Sebastian blinks and shakes his head to clear it. The heat isn't really that bad, but combined with the cool drink he's feeling a little drowsy and slow. "I mean, yes, I've heard of the case, and," Sebastian wants to say no, but Ruben's paying him and he doesn't doubt -for all that the man speaks seemingly fine- the man's being honest, "yeah you can call me that."

Myra used to call him Seb in their more playful moments, or when he'd done something particularly stupid. Joseph calls him that from time to time too. When they're both talking about personal things they'd rather not talk about. His mother used to. He's pretty sure she had once called him that, but his memories of her are vague and faded with time. He can't be all too sure what she even sounded like anymore.

He's not upset by the nickname but it's something that's highly personal to him. He's not upset but it kind of feels like he should be and Sebastian struggles with understanding why.

Ruben smiles and it's a bit distracting to notice how the small shift can change his face so very much. Enough to ease Sebastian away from the unsettled feeling of giving in to the request. "There's rumors that the church were involved with that. My father wasn't happy with the rumors and was quite loud in his defense of the church. That's really the extent of my knowledge on the town, _Seb_."

Sebastian doesn't flinch back from the nickname that rolls strangely off Ruben's tongue. It's strange beyond all reason what hearing that name does now. He feels a little frisson of cold, magnified by him being overheated, and the sensation of the ground rising up from under his feet as he falls...

_...it hurts but it's not real pain he's feeling as he lies there, held still by things he can't see. His head buzzes and his mouth tastes like copper and the air before a lightning strike. Or maybe just after one has blinded him. Ruben turns to face him and his eyes are distant as he talks about regions and centers. His words not directed to him even as he smooths his hands over Sebastian's face. Fingers exploring and mapping out every inch of him. The coarse bandage of one thumb catching on chapped lips as he bends down to look him in the eyes. Addressing him for the first time in what feels like a long while, "Oh, Seb, I'd say I'm sorry they decided to throw you to me as a distraction, but I'm really not. You're exactly what I need right now..."_

"Are you feeling all right?" Ruben asks and Sebastian opens his eyes with a jerk. His body starts violently and his heart hammers as if he was just falling and only barely stopped himself in time.

Sebastian sags back until his legs catch on the table and he blinks at the library. The tattered remains of a daydream passing out of his mind the longer he stands there and just breathes. Fuck, did he just fall asleep standing up, mid conversation with a client?

Ruben has moved to stand right in front of him and has a hand on his shoulder in support. His head tilted in a worried question. "Maybe you should rest a bit, Seb. You don't look well at all."

"Not enough coffee," Sebastian says quickly as he takes a long step back from Ruben and scrubs a hand over his face hard. He swallows and it's like he's been sucking on pennies all day. He immediately misses the light touch of Ruben's hand and Sebastian wonders just what the hell has gotten into him. "I'll grab a cup or three in town when I start nosing around and be fine."

"All right. If you need anything," Ruben leaves the phrase unsaid as he waves expansively around him. He smiles and the expression seems wrong for a moment. Too light for his face. "Thank you, again, for looking into this."

"It's my job," Sebastian shrugs the thanks off and doesn't mention that Ruben's paying him too. One of the first things he learned about clients is not to bring that fact up in casual conversation. Makes them feel awkward and get bitchy with him.

Well, no, Sebastian reflects as he breaks eye contact with Ruben and walks himself out of the room. That's the second thing he learned as a PI. The first thing he actually learned is not to emphasize too much with his clients. Not getting weirdly attached is something he learned as a cop. Both are things that he's broken already on this case, and that fact sits uneasily in the back of his mind as Ruben watches him leave.

**.**

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	4. Chapter 4

**By Choice  
><strong>

**A Word**: Ibid.

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><p>.<p>

The cool air outside is like a slap to the face, but it doesn't do much to clear his head. He knocks out a smoke from his nearly empty pack and slides it between his lips as he walks to the car. Sebastian tosses his coat into the back seat and leaves the door open to sit for a bit. The sun's up fully now. Higher overhead than he expected it to be and the world outside of the mansion seems blindingly bright as he squints into it.

It doesn't seem real though. Too light and perfect as compared to the heavy and timeless silence inside the mansion. That feels like it's wrapped around him as tight as any vest he's worn and followed him outside.

He's hit with the weird urge to go back in as he rubs his scalp with his fingers. The headache from the morning is back with a vengeance. It's hard to think past it actually and he thinks about the aspirin he doesn't carry in the car with him anymore because he no longer sleeps off hangovers in the back seat.

Christ but he needs _something_ to kill it before his head caves in from the pounding at his temples. Sebastian groans and actually gets back out of the car. Takes three stumbling steps towards the mansion before he even realizes what he's doing. That he's going back inside to his _client_ for _help_. Not because Ruben seems like he'd have a pretty decent supply of things to kill the pain, but simply because he's in pain and his mind thinks _Ruben_ can help.

And like a fucking switch has been flipped the pain's gone. Not fading or easing up, just flat out _gone_ like it was never there. Leaving Sebastian standing in front of the mansion and confused as hell.

"What the-" Sebastian shakes his head hard before getting back into the car and twisting the keys into the ignition to get the car going. He looks up into the rear view mirror and studies his face. He needs a shave and a good day or two of sleep, but that's nothing new for him. He doesn't look any worse than usual. "Christ, what the hell's wrong with you Sebastian?"

Sebastian slams the car door shut and cranks the window down before peeling out of the drive. Weaving a bit as he finally manage to light up the cigarette he kept a hold of. The first hit relaxes his shoulders and he takes a deep pull of the burning tobacco. Putting distance between himself and the mansion also eases something that's clenched up in him. Hell, maybe he needs to take that vacation that Joseph's been bitching at him to take for the past two years now.

There's a lot of things he needs to do that Joseph's been getting onto him about for a while, but Sebastian isn't any more likely to do those things than he is to take a vacation. For a variety of reasons but the never ending cost of continued living is the one he'll cite to his last breath if asked.

He'll have to see a doctor once this case is over though. Hell, he might just use it as an excuse to get access to the hospice. It's a small town, they have to take regular patients on occasion.

Elk River is a good twenty minutes away going by the winding back roads he had to take to get to the estate. He twists back before he gets too far down the road and fishes out the cellphone Joseph had insisted he keep even when money started getting tight. It's still a waste of money, but he won't argue that it's a useful one.

Kidman answers almost before the first ring gets started. "I won't be able to pull those clippings until after lunch. You know the people at the Post don't roll out of bed before noon."

Straight to the point as usual. "Thanks Kidman, I actually wanted you to look up a few more things. See if there's digital copies about the church at Elk River. Specifically anything dealing with cults and missing money."

"Elk River," Kidman states flatly, and it's obvious she's making that bitchy face she gets when she's thinking about lacing his coffee grounds with Borax or something else. "I thought you were following up on our _paying_ client's case."

"Our paying client is just outside of Elk River," Sebastian props his left arm out the window and keeps a close eye on the road for any spooked critters. He almost smoked a few rabbits earlier on the way in. "And has ties to both the church and a hospice there. He also has a sister that the internet never mentioned. Look up any mentions of Laura Victoriano and the hospice while you're at it too."

"Right, anything else I can find for you?" Her tone is dry but he can hear the scratching of a pencil as she takes notes. "A better office, the winning lotto ticket, Waldo?"

"I'll take the second," maybe he should stop encouraging Joseph to make a move. She's got more sass than him and Sebastian ought to be more frightened of what they could possibly produce for offspring. "Let me know what you find before you go diving through back issues, alright? I'll be in the town soon and have a look at a few places."

"Any order of importance?"

"The church," Sebastian answers immediately, because he's not going there without having some idea of what he's entering first. In his experience, anything involving religion tends to start off hostile immediately, and only a thorough understanding of the place or person can help with that.

"Right, I'll get on that," Kidman says and then pauses just long enough for him to interject with anything else. "I'll call you in a few hours."

"You do that," Sebastian tells the empty air. Efficient, straight to the point, not prone to drama. Sebastian tosses his phone into the passenger seat and reminds himself that he usually thinks those are good qualities to have.

**.**

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	5. Chapter 5

**By Choice  
><strong>

**A Word**: Adding warnings for references to incest and abortion as I flesh out my own thoughts on the Victoriano family. Which is twisted, very dark and twisted.

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><p>.<p>

The first place Sebastian hits is a worn down looking diner that probably used to be an actual home. The older woman behind the counter is named Ella and is delighted to see him. She's way too happy to load him up with enough slightly burnt coffee to make him feel human again. She talks nonstop, and by the time he leaves he knows more than he ever wanted to know about Elk River's dating scene. None of which is going to be helpful to him.

Hopefully.

The town is small but spread out. A series of modern and older homes wrap around Elk Lake which the town is sort of named for. Hell if that makes any sense. The town edges up all along the shore of the lake and is the sort of sleepy place that you never expect anything to happen to. A false sense of security given the rather horrible series of killings that happened not all that long ago.

That might _still_ be going on.

Myra's files start with Elk River. They're all inherited files from Inspector Brown who had overseen the original Elk River case, and was later expanded on by a nosy reporter named Ivan Diaz. Both men who had chased a serial killer into the abyss and never been seen again. Only their files turning up on Myra's desk to give any hint as to what they were chasing.

Brown's initial reports on the murders are scattered and filled with so many holes that Sebastian's pretty sure the holes in the man's case were built into it from the ground up. The detectives under him doing really shitty work or taking a hefty paycheck on the side to be as bad as they were.

It's no wonder that the man had started working on it on his own even though his rank should have kept him in an overseer's position. Brown's own personal files are far more descriptive and were what had led Myra to investigate Beacon Memorial in the first place. What had led her to seeing a pattern and connecting Diaz's work with Browns to her own investigations in Krimson City before disappearing without a trace. Just her own files added on and sent to Sebastian to work out on his own.

Most of the victims of the Elk River serial killer are still John and Jane Does as far as the state is concerned. No matching prints or DNA, and no missing persons report to match. Where ever they're from, they weren't missed, and the few that did get names put to them generally had no one to miss them.

They'd showed up in groupings ranging from three to six at a time every few weeks for a year straight. Horrifically mutilated, and looking like something out of a mad slasher film. They were tortured when alive, and they were kept alive for a very long time. The killer had played with them all. Taking them apart like some sadistic kid playing doctor, and always ending with the head. Sebastian's seen the pictures and it isn't pretty what ended up killing those people.

It's been close to sixteen months since any victims have been found, and official word on it is that the killer has gone to ground or is in prison. Maybe even dead. Official expectation is that the people of Elk River shouldn't have anything to fear anymore and should go right on back to enjoying their normal lives.

It's bullshit, and the few people Sebastian sees know it. They watch as he drives by them with suspicious eyes. Studying him and his car as he drives. The whole town is going to hear about him before the hour is up if they haven't already. Maybe that's why Ella had been so perky and talkative when he stopped earlier. There's more than one way to sound people out after all.

The hospice is exactly where Ella told him it'd be and Sebastian pulls up just outside the homely looking building. It's too large to be considered a house, but the setting really won't let him think of it as anything else. A small, discrete sign is affixed next to the door and he squints as he reads it.

'Dr. Valerio Jimenez  
>Hospice'<p>

"Descriptive," Sebastian stubs out the cigarette he's been nursing since the diner. "Might as well see who's all home."

"Who's home," a light voice repeats and Sebastian twists to look back at the fence he'd walked past without looking at it twice. A kid sits on the ground, back pressed against the wooden boards and stares down at his hands. "Who's home. Whose home?"

"Hey, didn't see you there," the kid doesn't really look up at him, but he tilts his head enough to side eye him something fierce and Sebastian gets a good look at the kid's face. The kid's an albino, his skin and hair are too unnaturally pale not to be. It makes the dark bruise trailing from under his eye and across his cheekbone stand out far more though. "Ah, hell, kid. You get in a fight or something?"

"Or something," the kids looks down again nervously and starts to wring his hands a bit. Nervous and quick motions that he repeats exactly. Over and over again, in a pattern that Sebastian could probably count out if he paid close enough attention to it. "Or something, or something..."

His words trail off into an indistinct mutter and he starts to rock a bit. Sebastian checks the urge to get down on a knee and make sure the kid's alright. He's been around Beacon Memorial enough to recognize that as a bad idea without knowing more about the kid's issues. Issues because it's obvious he has them.

"Leslie!" Sebastian feels a little relieved at the shout and backs up a bit as a very large man comes around the corner of the hospice. His face is flushed, and he's breathing hard but he seems genuinely relieved to see the kid when he claps eyes on him. "Oh, thank God, there you are child. You mustn't-" the man trails off as he sees Sebastian, and suspicion is hard on his round face. "Hello, I wasn't aware we had visitors today."

The man walks forward enough to confront Sebastian. A position that puts him protectively in front of the boy. Leslie.

"Detective Castellanos," Sebastian says after watching Leslie for a flinch or reaction, but the boy doesn't react. Seems to be totally comfortable and at ease in the man's presence. He offers his hand out. "I was looking for Dr. Jimenez when I found Leslie here. Looks like he hurt himself a bit."

"Yes, I'm afraid Leslie decided to leave his room without permission and ran into one of our...more angry patients. Poor boy," the man shakes his hand and there's not one single trace of the suspicion anymore. "And, well, _I_ am Valerio Jimenez, Detective. How can I help you?"

"Just wanted to ask a few questions. Ruben Victoriano sent me your way," sort of, but the white lie is just another play of words that tends to make these things go easier.

"Did he?" Valerio seems surprised and puzzled as he regards him. "Whatever for?"

"About the fire," Sebastian looks around. There's no one on the streets, but it is a small town and he doesn't like broadcasting these questions out in the open if he can help it. "How about we get Leslie inside first, doc? He doesn't look too comfortable out here."

"Yes, yes. Let's go inside. All of us," Valerio turns and squats down easily for a man of his size. His voice is gentle and patient as he addresses the kid. "I know it's not time for snacks, but I have an apple juice box inside just for you. How does that sound Leslie? Come on, my boy, let's get up. Up!"

Sebastian walks ahead and opens the door as the doctor cajoles the kid to his feet, and gets him walking with a gentle touch and more encouraging words that actually seem to be working. The Hospice looks even more homely inside. It's quiet and tranquil for all the excitement that must've just happened. There's also no sign of anyone else at all as he trails Valerio and Leslie into a room that looks like a personal office.

"Here we are," Valerio bends to a small fridge and comes back with a small box. He puts the straw in with well-practiced ease and Leslie nearly jumps for it. "There, do you feel better now, Leslie?"

"Better, better," Leslie mutters and takes a long pull from the box. He smiles a bit around the straw. "Better."

"Good, we'll get Emma to look at that shiner you have growing and see if there's anything else hidden from snack time, alright?" Valerio says with a fond smile. He turns to Sebastian and nods at a chair. "Please, have a seat. This won't take me but a few minutes. We have to be sure Leslie here is settled."

"Take your time, doc," Sebastian says to his back.

If he was still in the force he'd have sat his ass down as soon as the door clicks shut behind the man, but Sebastian isn't actually a cop anymore. He no longer can count on a court order to make people cooperate with him, and has learned to make his first crack at them really count. To get everything he can before they figure out he's a PI and not an actual cop.

Valerio, luckily, prefers the same filing system that Sebastian does. All hard copies neatly and alphabetically ordered in a single filing cabinet beside his desk. There's a locking system on each drawer, but none of them are actually engaged.

There's four folders under the name Victoriano. Ernesto has nothing in it interesting. A few sheets that are just annual checkups. Beatriz has even less than that in her file. Ruben's folder is empty with only a faint transfer of graphite on one side to suggest there was anything in it at all. The fourth folder is significantly larger than all of them.

"Laura," Sebastian flips the folder open and doesn't bother with anything that looks too technical or unreadable. He's got only a few minutes to see if there's anything hidden in the paperwork that he's not been told about.

Lists of medications and treatments related to burns. Regular assessments that look nearly identical going back nine years, and nothing that looks out of the ordinary to him with his lack of understanding what even half of the words mean. No, what looks out of the ordinary is in the papers that go back further than the fire.

The word 'fetus' jumps out at him and Sebastian flips between two different pages. Puzzling the highly technical terms together until he realizes he's looking at a report on an abortion.

"What the fuck?" The dates are much earlier than the fire and he does some quick calculating and starts to feel a little sick. What the hell was a fourteen year old Laura doing pregnant? And coming into a damn _hospice_ to get the abortion done? Sebastian hasn't seen the full extent of the equipment used here, but he's pretty sure that this place isn't normally equipped to do delicate operations like that. All done on the payroll of...

Sebastian flips to see the signature on the last page and he flips open Ernesto's folder to compare the name there. It matches. Which means someone was good at forging or dear old Dad got his way too young little girl an abortion.

_Abortions_. There's another set of papers dated a year earlier with the same terminology, and Sebastian only gets a glance at it before he hears Valerio's voice. "Shit."

There's a loud creak from the hallway, the sound of Valerio walking. Sebastian puts the folders back and sits in one of the two chairs in the office just as the door opens and Valerio comes in with a smile. "I do apologize, detective, but things can become a little hectic around here when my help becomes ill."

"Understandable," Sebastian waits for the man to sit and shelves the questions he has about Laura's files for the moment. "As I said, I'm looking into the fire that took place nine years ago."

"Yes, yes," Valerio's smile droops. The man has a ridiculously expressive face, but Sebastian doesn't let that fool him into thinking the man can't hide anything. "You said you talked to Ruben Victoriano, right? I'm sure he's told you as much as he can remember. I'm afraid I might not be much more help than that though. Laura has a permanent room here with us, but I'm afraid she's never woken from that day. I can tell you how very severely she was hurt in the fire, but nothing more than that."

Valerio can tell him a lot more than that, but Sebastian wants to see how much he can get out of him now before pissing him off. "You can tell me about the family. Before the fire happened. What was going on with the Victoriano's doc?"

"Well, the family was very wealthy. Ernesto was a philanthropist. He gave quite generously back to the community," Valerio says without a hint of deception or dishonesty. "They have always supported the hospice as well. It was upsetting to see all these disasters befall them."

"Think a barn being set on fire counts as something a bit more than a disaster, doc," Sebastian shifts in his seat and takes the time to look at the few plaques on the walls. Licenses and degrees. One framed photo of the doctor with a bunch of other people. Could be family, could be friends. "Sounds like something personal if you ask me. Now why would anyone want to harm a family of philanthropists?"

"People will be people, Detective," Valerio says with a shrug. "Ernesto was rich, yes, and sometimes that alone is enough to make people lash out."

"Jealousy," Sebastian echoes and frowns. Was that drunk bastard actually telling him something real? Following his gut on this he pushes for more. "About the land and farms?"

"I'm afraid so," Valerio says gravely and he laces his fingers together on the desk. Taking on the air of a doctor getting ready to tell someone it's terminal and there's no treatment. "There were a lot of people who weren't happy when Ernesto started buying up the land. Yes, they got to stay and farm it, but it didn't sit well that they had to rent what used to be theirs. Never mind that the bank would have owned it and charged twice as much if they went under!"

"Not very rational," Sebastian agrees when the man pauses and doesn't seem likely to continue without a prod.

"It never is rational when men get together and decide they've been wronged. When all it takes is one very loud man to urge them on to do something so," Valerio spreads his hands out in a helpless gesture, "regretful."

"It sounds like you already know who was responsible for the fire," Sebastian says and narrows his eyes at the doctor. It can't be that easy. His cases are never so easy that he finds what he needs in one day.

"I do, everyone knows," Valerio says with a sigh and there's nothing. No crack or sign that Sebastian can see to show he's trying to actively hide something. It's a tad frustrating because that means the man is being truthful or is that good of an actor. "There were five men, Detective Castellanos. Seven, but two of them were too afraid to make the trek all the way out to the estate, and ran back home."

"Then why-"

"Please," Valerio raises one hand pleadingly. "Let me finish, and I'm sure your question will be answered. Five men where there the day the barn was set on fire, and they all heard the children inside. Four of them stopped then, but the fuel had been spread and the last man was a singularly evil specimen of a man. Fernando Cabrera is who you will want to talk to. For all the good it will do."

"Uh huh," Sebastian raises an eyebrow as the man takes a breath from the very calm recital of facts. "And what about the others? Failing to act is as much of a crime as the actual act."

"Dead, Detective. Guilt took them all in one form or another," Valerio responds. "Except Fernando. His violence just got worse. Devastatingly so. He was committed by court order to an asylum for his protection as well as the worlds."

Convenient. Neat. An entire twisted plot wrapped up in what would make the plot of a thirty minute TV show. Convenient and neat are two things that don't happen by accident in real life. Sebastian is waiting for the second shoe to drop, and he's got no idea where it's going to come from. "Why doesn't Ruben know this? He still thinks the people who hurt him and his sister are alive and free."

"I can only guess. My brother was the family physician and he spent the most time with the young boy as he recovered. I'm afraid I've only really seen poor Laura so I can't say why he did not know this," Valerio looks over Sebastian's shoulder to where he'd noticed a clock was before. "His parents most certainly knew. Everyone in town knows. Ah, if we could wrap this up, Detective? I have some medication to dispense to some of my patients."

"Sure," Sebastian gives into the brush off for the moment. He's got a line of questioning he wants to follow, but he's going to sit on it for a bit. End this on a good note so the good doctor might give him another chance later. "Sorry to have kept you so long, and I do really appreciate the answers."

"Not at all! I'm simply surprised that Ruben didn't know this already. It's rather disheartening to think about actually," Valerio stands and Sebastian lets himself get led out the door into the main hallway before stopping.

"Ah, I almost forgot, doc," Sebastian rubs at the back of his head a bit. A gesture he uses that people seem to read as nervousness or embarrassment. "If it's not too much trouble I was also asked to see Laura? I mean, I know she's in a coma, but he seemed insistent..."

"Ruben?" Valerio seems caught by surprise again and shifts a bit before nodding slowly. "Well, yes, I see. Ruben is particularly close to his sister and would want- Yes. I can allow it, but only for a moment."

"That's fine," Sebastian says and follows as the man turns away from the front door. He bypasses several closed doors and a large open area that actually looks like a walk in clinic with chairs, beds, and a curtained area. Laura is in a room at the back of the building and Sebastian counts the doors he passes out of habit.

"I warn you, she is not an easy sight to see," Valerio warns with his hand on a door knob. "The skin grafting hasn't been a priority for her as much as her brother. Ruben also covers as much of his scarring as he can, but we only bandage the delicate areas for Laura. It's better for her not to be completely smothered all the time."

"I understand," Sebastian says and Valerio opens the door. Stepping aside to hover in the hallway. There but respectfully out of sight.

The room is small. Smaller with the medical equipment neatly lined up to one side of the single bed that dominates the room. Laura lays there, placed in the exact center. A small figure dwarfed by discrete tubes and wires, and nearly completely unrecognizable as a woman. Barely human looking at all with the scars that look like they cover her whole body. Or just the parts he can see as he edges up to the bed.

Ruben's scars were hints that don't look even half as bad as the uncovered face of Laura.

"Hey," Sebastian says. Half because he needs something to cover his ass with Valerio and half because he honestly doesn't know what he hoped to gain by seeing her. Other than seeing the fact that she's real. He reaches out and presses two fingers to the mattress just beside one of her hands. Resting on top of the covers, the three remaining fingers held straight with splints, and the joints wrapped with a single layer of bandages. "Your brother asked me to look into this."

Laura breathes almost silently. The shifting of her chest the only thing that gives it away. The equipment attached to her reads something but he can't tell what. She's got no hair left, and the scarring on her face leaves just a hint of recognizable features. She's being kept alive in this place, and not much else. Hard to do recovery stuff and skin grafts with an unconscious patient he guesses.

"He didn't know some things. A lot of things maybe. Guess I better let him know," Sebastian pats the bed because he's honestly afraid to touch her. "I'll see you around them, Ma'am."

Valerio closes the door when he leaves and nearly beams at him. An almost patronizing smile that makes him want to snap at the man. "Thanks, doc. I'll see myself out."

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	6. Chapter 6

**By Choice  
><strong>

**A Word**: Adding warnings for references to incest and abortion as I flesh out my own thoughts on the Victoriano family. Which is twisted, very dark and twisted.

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><p>.<p>

Kidman's timing is impeccable. His foot is barely on the sidewalk outside before his phone starts ringing. "What've you got?"

"Misdirection mostly," Kidman isn't put off by his demand. "The church's floor collapsed a while back and uncovered a series of catacombs. The rumors are from the workmen hired to fix it. The church's pastor pulled the religious freedom card when officials came by to investigate. Claimed they were burial grounds and looking through them would be sacrilege. The whole thing was dropped once the repairs were made."

"Uh huh," Sebastian gets in the car but doesn't head out just yet. "What about the money?"

"That's an ongoing issue, but it's being kept strictly inside the church," there's the sound of shuffling paper loud over the phone. "Pastor Salvador Graciano denies it all, but his name and the money issue keep popping up. Not much else to say about that though."

Good to know. Probably useless now, but still good to know.

"There's one hospice listed in Elk River-"

"Run by Valerio Jimenez," Sebastian says as he looks up at the building. "Just met him. Pleasant enough guy, but sounds like he reads all of his answers off of cue cards."

"The Victoriano family still contributes a hefty chunk of money to him. They're listed as benefactors to the hospice and not much else," Kidman doesn't sound annoyed to have her research turn meaningless with a simple visit. He'd have caught hell from Joseph over it. "Understandable as Laura is listed as a permanent resident. Papers listed her as being in a vegetative state. That might have been them being nice about her being brain dead though."

"Nah, she's not brain dead. Just in a coma," brain dead people need a lot more machines to live. Machines to breathe and do other things that the body does naturally on its own just as long as there's something left upstairs to direct it. Laura was well hooked up but there was no breathing tube.

"You would be the expert in that," Kidman says and then breezes on before he can call her out for the sass. "There's really not much else to say about her. The fire is the most noteworthy thing that's happened to her. Everything else she's in usually mentions her as 'daughter.'"

"Let's put the church on hold," Sebastian says after a moment to think about the way the case is shifting on him as he goes. All cases do that and he's learned to prioritize and focus even though his mind still demands he know everything. He just doesn't have the time or the resources to do that anymore. "And the hospice."

"Do you still need me to look anything up at all at the Post?" Kidman asks with definite interest. Just because she's good at going through all those hard copies doesn't mean she particularly enjoys doing it.

"Maybe, but you can probably find this stuff out without having to actually go there," Sebastian sits up and watches an older couple leave their home down the street. They pointedly don't look toward him or his car before turning to walk the other way. Hands laced together and working at a gentle stroll. "Look for a man who was forcefully committed. Fernando Cabrera, no idea how to spell the last name but he should be from here. Keep an eye out for suicides too while you're at it. Men, there may or may not be mention of them losing property. Maybe they just die suspiciously. Hard telling."

"This is all connected to our paying client, right?" Kidman asks. Stressing the paying part again which means she looked over the finance sheets first thing this morning.

"Yes," Sebastian groans. "Look, you're still getting paid regardless so stop worrying."

"I'm looking to my _continued_ employment, Sebastian," Kidman says sharply, and if he was in the office he'd get treated to a scathing look on top of it. "I'll look into that name, and give you what I find in a few hours."

Sebastian hangs up first this time and takes one last look around. Nothing at all has changed. A few curtains twitch back as he turns the key, but people have been peering out at him the entire time he's been here so far. He wants to get out and walk up to one of those houses, but the questions he has aren't things the people here have the answers to. They also have nothing to do with the case he's on right now.

A case that seems to be finished for all intents and purposes. Quickly and easily. No bribes to be paid, no threats thrown around. Just a badly burned coma patient and her almost equally burned brother. Simple and neat like the TV shows he was thinking about earlier. Except this is real life and there's something lurking just under the surface of it all. Something dark and sleeping that he has the sinking feeling will swallow him alive if he tries to confront it.

Fuck but he could use a drink right now.

Ella's coffee is the next best thing he's willing to allow himself until he's home. At least the woman's diner is old fashioned enough that she doesn't give him the eye when he asks for an ashtray and the greasiest platter she has on the menu. He gets a bright laugh for that request instead, and not too much else. There's a young woman with a cooing bundle at the counter that keeps Ella mostly occupied and Sebastian is just fine with that. He's got some thinking to do.

The fire happened nine years ago. A group of men angry over losing their land to the Victorianos decided to go torching barns on the estate. It was bad luck that the kids were out there playing in it, even worse that Cabrera was there and obviously didn't give a shit. Both kids suffered horrible burns with Laura coming out the worse for it. Her state makes it impossible for her to live without the hovering presence of medical aid in some form or another. Sometime between the fire and now Cabrera got sent to an institution somewhere and almost all of the men apparently killed themselves. Guilt, maybe. Useful little facts that haven't been brought to Ruben's attention at all.

His parents maybe, but they've been dead for a year now. Ruben's obviously in full charge of the family finances and estate. So why doesn't he already know all of this? What was Higgins so dead set on not telling him? What was Laura doing at thirteen and fourteen? Did the church even have any part in this whole thing at all?

Ella brings out a burger the size of his fist and a mountain of fries. She even leaves the coffee pot on the table for him. More for her sake than his though as she darts back to cooing over the baby after giving him a pat on his shoulder.

The church has nothing to do with this. Sebastian firmly rules it out even as he itches to follow up on the rumors he's heard. His interest in that has more to do with his own personal case than anything else and can wait.

There's no way to tell why Ruben hasn't been made aware of the fate of the men who burned the barn, but Ruben didn't really ask him to find the people responsible. He asked for the _person_.

"Huh," Sebastian frowns at the play on words he hadn't even noticed. Maybe it was intentional, maybe not. Either way, he thinks he's going to have to go back to the mansion now and set a few things straight with Ruben.

See exactly what he does and does not know, and spend an hour or so getting the story on his family out. It's like he's stumbling around in the dark without that information. Making wild stabs and guesses. He normally would have already done that interview, but he'd been so off this morning all he could really think about was getting away and grabbing coffee.

Maybe once he's got that done he can figure out where Laura's medical record fit into it all. The taste of the food sours slightly in his mouth as he thinks about bringing it up to Ruben. It's probably not likely that he'll even know the story behind it. He had to have been, what, three? Four? Somewhere along there when it happened.

Hell, now that he's thinking about it, what was a good church supporting man like Ernesto doing taking his daughter in for an abortion? He's pretty sure that's the kind of thing the religious sort frown on. Wouldn't be the first time where wealth and hypocrisy spoke louder than faith, but it's just another layer on a massive pile of information he has. Not truly related to the case he's working but just close enough to it for him to think it's relevant.

It's a maddening feeling as his instinct screams and jumps around. He knows there's more, he knows it but he can't see it just yet. Sebastian ignores it for the moment, and stops thinking about the case for a bit. Focusing instead on the food he has as he waits for Kidman to get him a few more pieces of information.

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	7. Chapter 7

**By Choice  
><strong>

**A Word**: My brother used to get migraines. I think that's the closest I can come to what the game describes Ruvik's constant headaches as. I've found nothing else that could be close, but I may just be overlooking it too.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

"Beacon Memorial," Kidman states in a flat tone that gives away nothing of what she's feeling, but Sebastian's willing to bet she's feeling a little disturbed.

"Cabrera," Sebastian guesses as he drains the last of his coffee. The plate is long gone and he hasn't seen Ella or anyone in ten minutes. He fishes out some crumbled fives and leaves them on the table for tip. Next to the already paid check.

"Yes," Kidman confirms as he leaves. There's more people milling around outside because it's late enough that work has to be over. "Schizophrenic, borderline, manic. There's a laundry list of problems attached to his record and it looks like they changed with each doctor assigned to him. One consensus is he's highly violent and prone to paranoid delusions."

It's not surprising that Cabrera ended up in Beacon. There isn't any place better equipped in the state for violent cases like his. "Tell me he's still there," Sebastian pleads as he spins his wheels a little on the gravel parking lot before getting traction.

"As far as I can tell," Kidman says with a sigh, "but you know how accurate Beacon is with keeping track of patients."

"You're his estranged and illegitimate daughter. Make an inquiry," Sebastian orders and hopes she'll be able to find the man is still right where he's supposed to be. Considering it'd taken the unexpected guilt of an ex-wife of a patient to decide her kid needed to speak to his father just once to figure out people were going missing from the asylum in the first place, Sebastian doesn't have much hope of that being true.

The missing from Beacon are always the ones who don't seem to have anyone. Just like the victims in Elk River, a pattern that had first led Myra to connect the two cases. "What about the others?"

"I've got nothing," Kidman responds. "There's too many deaths in the area to pick any out. Not a whole lot of suicides either. Just one in the last five years and it was a woman."

"It was a long shot," and probably doesn't matter all that much in the end anyway. Lot of suicides get covered up or are just never explicitly stated to be that in the papers. "Find anything else?"

"A man in Florida won the lotto," Kidman says flat and seriously like she's been reporting everything else. "He looks a little like you so if you want to off him and take his place I'll fully support you as your estranged and illegitimate daughter. Or trophy wife. I'm young enough to be either for you."

Christ save him from his partners. "Check my email and see if Joseph's got anything, _dear_."

"Yes, pumpkin pie," Kidman says in the same flat tone that nearly makes Sebastian choke on a laugh. "I'll see what the pool boy has found out."

She hangs up and Sebastian has to pull over to the side of the road before he crashes his car for laughing too hard.

.

.

He thinks about sending a text to Joseph to warn him that his poorly concealed crush is an open secret but decides against it. It'll be a lot more fun watching him squirm in the dark when Kidman decides to turn her penchant to evil towards him. The thought of that is light and bright enough to get him back to the Victoriano estate in a good mood.

Higgin's car is still there and that, combined with the shadows the place now throws over him, is enough to kill anything good he might have been feeling.

The door doesn't open for him, but it's unlocked and he lets himself in. He doubts that something as small as a knock will penetrate the still mansion very far. "Ruben?"

His voice echoes and is sucked up by the place. Sebastian takes the time to drape his coat over a nearby chair and undoes the first few buttons of his shirt again. He'd buttoned up against the chill in town, but the heat of the mansion is already sinking back into him.

He checks the dining room first. Higgins is gone as well as the glasses and decanter. There's a sharp smell of chemicals in place of the alcohol at least. The only sign of the drunk man's presences is the absence of the chair he was sitting in. There's no sound from the second door, slightly open, in the room but that doesn't mean much. Sebastian hesitates before deciding to check upstairs before exploring the rest of the mansion. A time consuming prospect that he hopes he won't have to do.

A line of light comes out from under the door to the library and Sebastian can tell he made the right choice even before he opens the door and finds Ruben almost right where he left him hours ago. Almost.

Ruben is sitting at the table. More hunched over it than sitting with his head resting on it, and Sebastian thinks he might be sleeping until he steps in far enough to see his face.

"Ruben?" Sebastian crosses the room and kneels next to the man whose face is etched with deep lines of pain. He flinches at the sound of his name and takes a deep, hissing breath as Sebastian places a cautious hand on his back. He's tense, almost vibrating under the touch.

"Headache," he grinds out and it sounds like he's choking on gravel as he refuses to open his eyes. Just sits there in a miserable ball of pain. "Don't talk."

Sebastian doubts this is just a simple headache. Not with how much pain the man is obviously in, but he obeys the terse command and keeps his mouth shut. His hand doesn't seem to disturb him so Sebastian looks around the room. Sitting hunched over doesn't seem like the best place for Ruben, but there's nothing else in the library that's better.

He gets up and walks out of the area to a long hall lined with doors on either side. The first one he opens leads to a room that has more than a few of the thick books around it. There's a bed in it and Sebastian pulls down what looks like the top five layers before deciding it's good enough.

Ruben makes a pained noise when Sebastian picks him up. He doesn't say anything or open his eyes, but his fingers dig painfully into the side of his neck as he lifts the man up into an awkward carry. He's not light by any means, but Sebastian's had to haul heavier people around in his life. It's easy enough to get Ruben into the room and on the bed.

The man's breathing hard when he sets him down like he's the one who did all the work. There's a sickly cast to his face that gets Sebastian scrambling to find a small trashcan from near the desk. It's filled with papers and he hopes nothing else as he brings it near the bed.

He feels kind of useless after that. Ruben's still in pain as he curls a little onto his side. Face nearly buried in a thick pillow as he pants. Sebastian remembers the man talking about medication and for a moment wonders if he's going to even be able to try to find it.

"It will pass," Ruben grits out and Sebastian looks down to see one eye silted open. "Just leave me."

Sebastian has to trust Ruben knows what's best for himself right now. He sticks around for a bit longer before quietly leaving. He props the door open on his way out though, and only retreats as far as the library. He's close enough to hear anything if things get worse.

His plan of questioning Ruben is shot now, and Sebastian doesn't really know what the hell he's going to do until this, whatever it is, passes. He paces the library for a bit before stopping at the table with the decanter of lemonade.

There's no ice left, and Sebastian doesn't feel like trying to find the kitchen right now anyway. He pours himself about half of what's left in it anyway and settles in at the desk to wait.

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	8. Chapter 8

**By Choice  
><strong>

**A Word**: Ibid.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

_"You weren't meant to have that much," Ruben sounds amused and his face blocks out the ceiling as he looms over Sebastian. The light of the bulb he'd been staring at halos him and gets sucked into the dark scars twisting along his face and neck. "Can't be helped now."_

_Sebastian feels fingers pressing into the side of his neck as he stares, caught in the play of light and shadow. He's not beautiful, not in any sense of the word, but Sebastian's mind is slow and he thinks the man is striking now. That the feel of his fingers on his neck is actually nice. It's a struggle but he manages to tilt his head back to give Ruben more room to touch._

_"Interesting," Ruben looks amused now. The fingers move up his neck and to his face in a caress that makes Sebastian's thought move even slower. Nails scrape lightly down his cheek and Sebastian feels a moan leave him. Ruben looks absolutely fascinated now. "Yes, I can use this."_

_Sebastian hear a sound, like a faint click and the world lights up._

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Sebastian wakes at the touch of fingers on the back of his neck. To his credit, he doesn't shoot up in surprise to make an ass out of himself. He doesn't need to after falling asleep while he was trying to keep an eye on Ruben. He blinks into the too dim room and feels like he's pulling himself out of deep water with each blink.

"Shit," Sebastian groans when he sits up slowly, feeling the way his neck protests from the way he was slumped over on the table. "Uh, you-"

"I'm fine, thank you," Ruben walks around far enough to look down at Sebastian. He does look fine. There's no trace of the pain or unease he had before on his face at all. "A consequence of the fire. The attacks come and go, and there is little I can do but endure it."

"Right. They happen often?" Sebastian swallows and wishes he had some water or something. His little nap has left him dry mouthed and the tart lemonade he drank before probably isn't helping much.

"Constantly," Ruben says without a trace of bitterness. Just a matter of fact statement. "I bear them better than the seizures though."

Seizures. Jesus fuck. Sebastian straightens up and feels his spine crack into place. Ruben's still standing and watching him almost placidly. "Was there something you needed, Seb?"

A good reassurance that Ruben isn't as alone in the world as Sebastian thinks he is would be a good start, now that he's getting a pretty terrifying picture of what the man deals with. It's not what he came back to the estate for, and it's also not what he's being paid for. So he sets that aside.

"Some answers," Sebastian says, and it doesn't come out as tough or threatening as it should have but Ruben nods anyway. "About your family, and about how much you _really_ know about the fire," Ruben doesn't look surprised at all by the accusing tone in the last statement, and Sebastian is actually surprised a little that the man's a bit of an asshole when accuses, "You know Fernando Cabrera is the only one still living. Why didn't you tell me that from the start?"

"I had to know how good you really are, Seb," Ruben smiles almost kindly and it doesn't do anything at all to change Sebastian's opinion on the man's level of assholishness. "I don't think you realize how very many people I have dealt with that failed finding the obvious out. Rather spectacularly in some cases."

Sebastian can believe it. He's dealt with PIs on the force and off. Enough that he's gotten a good sense of how very many idiots try their hands at the trade. They usually don't last long but Sebastian's gotten more than a few burned and distrustful clients. Doesn't mean he has to like getting jerked around though. "Well, fine. Let's cut the bullshit then. What do you want, Ruben?"

"Cabrera," Ruben says after a moment of studying Sebastian. "He escaped Beacon Memorial nearly a year ago, and no one has been able to find him since."

"And why are you so set on finding him? He sounds like a real piece of work from what I've learned," Sebastian asks and notes there's no mention at all of finding out the why and who that was only heavily implied before. He wonders if he even heard mention of it, or if his mind just made it up.

"Peace of mind," Ruben says with a shrug as he leans against the table. Not bothering with the three seats close by. "I fell much safer with him locked up. For myself and my sister."

Sebastian tilts his head and studies Ruben. The man's not lying and his gut isn't twigging as much as it had the first night. He might be getting told the actual truth right now. "There a reason for that, or is it just a general safety thing?"

"Cabrera has a lot of delusions. Paranoid and over the top," Ruben shakes his head and does a slow wave around him. Pointing out the room, the books, or maybe even the entire house. "He has a convoluted theory about the hospital and the church. An entire world of cultists and murders that puts him in the role of shining savior that has to destroy it all."

"And your family is part of it," Sebastian connects it to the vague rumors Ruben mentioned before.

"Because my father bought out his land and donated regularly to a church he rarely even attended. That's all it took for our family to gain a starring role in his delusions," Ruben nods and his eyes look grim. "I was warned when he escaped that there's a high probability that he would come back. He talked often of finishing what he started to his doctor."

"There been something to lead you to believe that might actually happen?" Sebastian asks because he doesn't put much worth into the warnings the people at Beacon Memorial put out. They're either over exaggerated or very understated usually. "Do you think he's here, that he's an actual threat to you?"

"Yes," Ruben pushes away from the table and goes behind Sebastian. There's a small pile of folders and he pulls a thick envelope out of it. "These come every few weeks by mail."

Sebastian knows they're pictures the second he feels the glossy side of them. He pulls out a neat little stack of 4x6 color photos and flips through them. They're a rather eccentric mix of images. Half people and half mutilated animals.

The animal pictures are the standard fare for what they are. Dogs, cats, pigs, and a few deer. Sebastian can't even identify some of them through the mess of what's been done. It's obviously the work of a highly disturbed mind though, and Sebastian sets them aside after ascertaining there's nothing useful in them. That they're there for shock value and wordless threat.

Most of the people pictures are of Ruben. Bandaged and caught either between the mansion and a car, or on the short walk up to the hospice. One shows him inside of Laura's room. Sitting in a chair with his head angled down and away from the window where the picture taker had to have been standing to get it. There's several of Laura alone through the window, and one that's terrifying because it's not taken through a pane of glass at all. Valerio is in a few as well, along with a much thinner man that Sebastian knows by sight but not name from Beacon Memorial.

"Why didn't you go to the police with this?" Sebastian asks after putting the photos back in the envelope and looking back up at Ruben. He's unafraid, that's pretty obvious immediately. "This is the kind of thing they're made to handle."

"There's not the same type of force out here that there is in your city. They're all old men who still remember my father, and are reluctant to get involved against his wishes. Dead wishes," Ruben says with a distasteful curl of his lips. "My father dealt with Cabrera on his own, and, like it or not, I shall have to do the same. He's left me with no choice."

Who? Cabrera or Ernesto? Both? "Is this it? No notes or any other contact?"

"Nothing. No words at all and no way of tracking where he is through these," Ruben pulls out an opened letter and shows it to him. The return address is for the hospice. "They're dropped off in mailboxes all around the town. No one ever sees him."

"You've had someone track him that far?"

"No," Ruben denies. "_I've_ tracked him that far. As I said before, all the other people I've paid for help have been less than suited for the job."

"I'm going to be honest right now," Sebastian says after a minute of silence. He stands up and turns to meet Ruben's eyes head on. "I don't like being lied to when I'm trying to help a person. I get where you're coming from, but that's not going to stop me from walking out and leaving you to deal with this on your own if you do it again. I need the truth, Ruben, the _whole_ truth, to help you. You understand?"

He feels sorry for Ruben and Laura. Sorry enough that it's probably skewed his thinking already, but not enough to stick around chasing shadows. Not when there's a real threat lurking around them.

"Perfectly," Ruben says after listening to him. He smiles again and looks pleased that Sebastian's just threatened to walk out on him.

"Good," Sebastian looks back at the table, but his throat is starting to hurt and there's a hell of a lot to get through before he's comfortable ending the day. "You got a kitchen around here somewhere? We're going to need something not drowned in sugar when you tell me all about your family. About Ernesto."

"Of course," Ruben says, smooth as silk as he walks towards the stairs. "Whatever you need. Follow me, Seb."

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	9. Chapter 9

**By Choice  
><strong>

**A Word**: This chapter and the next are going to be short, and deal with my headcanon of the twisted Victoriano family. Or what Ruvik's willing to reveal to Seb about it anyway. So feel free to skip if the prospect of incest, child physical and sexual abuse, and abortion upsets you.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

There is a kitchen as it turns out and it actually looks like someone uses it pretty regularly. Probably not Ruben going by how it takes him more than a few minutes to find things. "I pay a woman in town to cook. She doesn't stick around beyond that."

Sebastian doesn't blame her. The mansion is oppressive by itself. More so with Ruben around if she's like most of the cautious people from town. He holds up the bottled water he grabbed for himself. "Not really that hungry right now."

"No?" Ruben shrugs off his dismissal and pulls out a tupperware container that really doesn't look like it belongs. Neither do the bright orange carrots inside of it. Precut and washed. "What do you need to know about my father? I've already told you that Cabrera's grudge isn't linked to anything logical. I wasn't lying about that."

"I don't doubt that, but it's always a good idea to find out everything I can," Sebastian drains the bottle and goes back for a second before dropping into a worn looking chair at a table scratched and gouged from years of cooking. His thumb nail catches in one particularly deep one as he strategizes on the fly for this round of questioning. Years of working with partners who never hesitated to smack him over the head for his bluntness have instilled some sort of a sense of tact in him. One he tries to follow more often than not because it gets results, but he's still pissed at Ruben and not inclined to hold his punches at the moment. "I'd also like to know more about Laura. There's some things in her medical file that worry me."

"Her- What?" Ruben goes utterly still for a moment before his eyes snap over to him. Blazing with anger but not enough to cover his surprise. "When, no, _how_ did you get access to-" Ruben's eyes narrow to thoughtful slits and shift slightly left. "The hospice has them. Valerio should have them secure though, but you..."

"That's what I'm paid for," Sebastian offers and nothing more, because it's always better when he can keep people guessing. "You might want to talk to Valerio about that though."

"I'll do that. So you were able to access her files," the anger and surprise is already gone. For all that Ruben seems like a calm and cool person he seems to burn through strong emotions like wax. Hot and fast, a strong outburst that's over almost as soon as it's begun. "And you found something concerning in them."

"Start talking," it's entirely possible Ruben's never seen her files before. The papers he looked at were all old enough to be buried by the newer reports, and he wants to see what Ruben will say without knowing what he's looking for.

"Father was a proud man. Pious, educated, and very certain he was right in everything," Ruben starts after a moment of consideration. "He tended to drink as well, and his qualities didn't change even when he was senseless with it."

"He was abusive," Sebastian translates. He wouldn't have interjected like this on the force. The danger of being accused of putting words into a witnesses mouth too dangerous, but he's not likely to have to take any of his work to court these days and can steer the conversation as much as he needs.

"In a way, yes," Ruben shrugs and picks up one of the carrots neither of them have actually eaten yet. He doesn't look particularly interested in eating it now either. "I wouldn't go so far as to call him an abuser. We feared his anger more than his fists. He never dared to leave marks behind."

"Just because he didn't hit you doesn't mean it wasn't abuse," Sebastian says. The platitude is old and slips out of his mouth automatically. He'd always hated it when he'd come across kids that used that kind of logic. That their dad or their mom weren't abusive because they didn't hit them, didn't hit them often enough, or some other excuse.

Ruben shrugs and continues to look at the damn carrot. Seemingly utterly fascinated by it and not effected at all by the conversation which is mostly just hinting around things. Depressing things. Shit, now he's feeling sorry for the asshole again.

"The barn that burned was on a farm that raised flower crops not far from here. He bought it for Laura. Sunflowers were her favorites," Ruben explains as if it's totally logical for an entire farm to be bought for that reason alone. "She was getting ready to turn eighteen. He called it a birthday present."

"Hell of a present," Sebastian comments and waits for the point. "I'd call it overkill though."

"Hmph, he was afraid. Maybe for the first time in his entire life," Ruben's contempt for his dad was obvious before, and it just gets more obvious now. "Laura was going to leave and be free from his control."

"Free to talk about what he did to her?"

Ruben's silent again and drops the carrot to fix him with an unreadable look. "What _was_ in her files, Sebastian?"

"Your sister had two abortions," Sebastian lays it out because Ruben seems set on hinting around things. Set on not actually saying anything unless he has to. "One when she was thirteen and one when she was fourteen. Your dad took her to have them both done at the hospice."

Ruben doesn't react. His eyes drift slowly away from him though. Moving to stare at one of the plain walls, as he says nothing for several minutes.

"Some days, I really wish that he wasn't dead," Ruben eventually intones and when he looks back his lips are twisted into something hard and dark. His eyes are even harder, and Sebastian realizes with a start that he was wrong about Ruben burning through emotion fast. The man buries them deep, but there's no mistaking the loathing and hatred in his eyes right now. Something so large it could have only been built up for years. "It feels like he died far too painlessly."

"That happens," and it's usually for the best. Sebastian's had to arrest one too many kids after they snapped. Had to throw them to the courts. Even though a good defense attorney could argue self-defense on most of those kids they rarely came out alright in the end. The car accident that took the Victoriano's was probably the best outcome in this case. "You saying your dad-"

"Yes," Ruben interrupts quickly, "do you really need to know this?"

Does he _want_ to, is the real question. He doesn't but, hell, he's getting the feeling that he's going to need to know everything before this case gets done. "I need to know everything."

"If you says so," Ruben turns to one of the shelves and approaches the table with a bottle. Dark green with no label and an already loose cork. The heavy scent of wine fills the air as soon as he pulls it out. "But you'll want some of this first. I guarantee it."

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	10. Chapter 10

**By Choice  
><strong>

**A Word**: This chapter deals with my headcanon of the twisted Victoriano family. Or what Ruvik's willing to reveal to Seb about it anyway. So feel free to skip if the prospect of incest, child physical and sexual abuse, and abortion upsets you.

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><p>.<p>

Wine isn't his thing. Never has been so he can't really tell if what he's been poured is the cheap stuff he expects it is or if it's actually quality wine. It doesn't do much for him and that's the only reason he takes it. It's heavy and almost sour on his tongue when he drinks it, lingering even after he's swallowed hard a few times. The wine doesn't seem to apply to Ruben's previous statement of not wanting to mix with his meds either. So maybe the wine just doesn't count at all for anything.

"My father loved my mother," Ruben talks like he's telling a story from a book. A very boring story. Something he tells all the time and can't be bothered with being enthusiastic over it anymore. "But he fell in love with Laura from the moment she was born. The wrong sort of love for a father."

Ruben isn't actually drinking though. He's slowly turning the glass. Tilting it so the dark red liquid clings and slides down the sides of the glass.

"I'm sure I don't have to get into the details of _that_. Just that it happened, and mother," Ruben's lips go tight and pinched. His voice carrying the same loathing it held for his dad. "She grew jealous."

"Over her own daughter?" Sebastian can't help interjecting in disbelief. He's seen it. Usually when the man involved isn't the biological father though, and those cases had always taken a more deadly turn. Nothing good ever came out of that kind of fucked up dynamic.

"Laura wasn't her daughter. Not really, not after she saw..." Ruben dips a finger into the wine and drags it up the side of the glass and doesn't finish his sentence. "I'm not going to pretend to understand it. It was always something that just _was_ when I was a child. She loved father, she hated Laura, and -when I was born- she loved me as well."

Love is a loaded word when he says it and Sebastian watches the man carefully but there's no shift in his expression. The wine beads up and lazily rolls down into the bottom of the glass again. Ruby red when the light catches it and almost black when it doesn't.

"Laura loved me. The two of us were the only good things we could hold onto. I was her favorite, because," Ruben goes silent and thoughtful for a moment before shrugging slowly. "Perhaps because of the children she didn't have. Laura was always there with me for as far back as I can remember. She cared more for me than our parents, and did more to raise me than any of the people hired to do that job did."

Ruben sighs and shakes his head hard once, his voice goes back to the measured tones of a story teller. "Father did not care for that at all. He was jealous of me, I suppose, for taking so much of Laura's attention. His anger took a more isolationist approach," Ruben remarks with a wry smile. "I was rather used to being locked up and hidden from the world and its people long before the fire."

There's an entire story unspoken. Ruben's pretty much an expert at crafting bare lines of a story and leaving it alone for people to paint in. Sebastian has to stop himself from filling in too heavily. His mind wants to, but he doesn't need that kind of vivid of a picture.

"Higgins was talking about jealousy," Sebastian says instead, because the man doesn't seem as entirely out of it as he'd first thought him to be now. "He knew a lot about what went on didn't he?"

"I told you, father was a proud man, and absolutely certain he was right in all things. He always treated Laura more like a wife than daughter from my understanding of it. It was no secret to those who knew him," Ruben reaches in for more of the wine and drags it out into the air. Holding the shimmering droplets on the tips of his fingers. Watching intently as they shiver before slowly rolling down his fingers. "Growing up, I thought it all so very normal."

That's the kicker. Sebastian's heard it before, and he knows that expectation is the thing that keeps bad shit like that going in an almost perpetual cycle. One that doesn't break easily. A fire would do it though. "And the hospice? The doc there didn't seem like the kind who'd run an illegal operation like that in his own place."

"Not Valerio, not directly at least," Ruben turns his hand over and lets the wine drip onto the table. "His brother, Marcelo Jimenez, was -still is- the family doctor. He used the hospice when needed be he would have been the one to perform any. Surgeries."

It's a depressing as shit story, and Sebastian's kind of pissed at himself for dragging it out. Because as much as it's illuminated things about the Victorianos, about the whole event, it hasn't actually done anything to further his case. It's a sad and dark thing to have happened, but the only connection it has with Cabrera is his role in stopping it from continuing or escalating in a very brutal way.

"Higgins said your father locked Cabrera up," Sebastian says after a moment to digest and shift his thoughts around a bit. He's grateful for the heavy wine now. It clings to his tongue with an overwhelming flavor that helps him swallow easier. "Valerio said Higgins was declared insane by the courts and forcefully committed to Beacon Memorial. He had a lot of help doing that, the same men who knew?"

"Most likely. You won't hear it from any of them though," Ruben wets his fingers again and reaches out this time to let the drops fall on Sebastian's closest hand. It's room temperature, and he barely feels it as more than a sliding sensation as the drops roll down the back of his hand. Thinning out enough to look red in the light. "Higgins came the closest to talking to me about any of it, and you saw how that went. Most of them are holed up in their homes. All their doors and windows locked as they try to distance themselves from the matter."

"They're afraid of Cabrera," Sebastian says and wipes his hand on the rough table. There's a smirk hovering on Ruben's face but Sebastian can't find enough irritation in him to shift away.

"Among other things, yes," Ruben wastes no time in scattering more drops of wine on his hand. It's an oddly bratty act and Sebastian's pretty sure a psychologist would have a field day with the act given what they were just talking about. "He may have threatened them. I don't really know, but since Pastor Graciano disappeared they've all become rather tight lipped on the matter."

"The pastor?"

"He spoke loudest during the hearing about Cabrera's increasing delusions. The man was a very pious member of his congregation, and the pastor was good enough to break some rules and tell what the man said in confession," Ruben says in disgust. His fingers drag at the beads of wine on Sebastian's hand. Smearing them almost to nothingness.

"Pretty sure the church frowns on that sort of thing," Sebastian can hear himself saying. Distantly like he's not really talking because all of his attention is zeroed in on the two fingers dragging slowly back up his hand.

"I'm sure," Ruben says and there's enough amusement in his voice to jolt Sebastian out of his own unexpected focus.

He pulls his hand away this time when he wipes it against the table first and then his pant leg. His skin still tingled and he was extremely conscious of the way his heart rate had picked up from the simple touch, the way his gut had tightened, and the way he really wanted nothing more than to lay his hand right back out there in easy touching distance.

It's not an unfamiliar feeling, this sudden rush that makes him hyperaware of his own body and Ruben. Not unfamiliar at all, but it's something he hasn't felt in years. Something that he'd thought he'd buried when he put on the ring he's still wearing. It blindsides him now just like it always did. The lust-stupid rush of attraction combined with an almost adolescent desire to impress.

Where the _fuck_ is this coming from? Sebastian has to bite back the reflexive curse that wants to come out. He looks away from Ruben who is _not_ anything that Sebastian has ever been attracted to in his entire life, but the churn in his gut is still there even when he drains the little bit of wine left in his glass. "I should look into that. The pastor might be the best lead into finding Cabrera. That happen recently?"

"Last month. He stayed late at the church and never arrived home," Ruben sets his own glass down and Sebastian can feel his eyes on him. Almost like a physical touch even as he stands to put a bit of distance between them. "It's late though."

"There's always something to find," Sebastian dismisses because late is sometimes the best time to look at things or places. Especially if he has to break in someplace to do it. Bit of a bitch since he just came back from the town, but that's what tomorrow is for anyway. "I should see about getting a room anyway while I'm at it."

Sebastian looks at Ruben and gives him a slight smile because he's a grown ass man who knows how to deal with pretty damn inappropriate attractions. Even ones that are sudden and completely out of nowhere. He's going to keep his mouth shut and his eyes focused on the end goal of the case, and not think about it until after he's got the check for the job in the bank.

"There's plenty of rooms here," Ruben rises as well as he offers probably he last thing Sebastian needs. "There's no need for you to pay for anything, Seb."

"Thanks," Sebastian says even as the nickname sends a shiver through him, like the man had said it low and against his ear. An image that Sebastian really, _really_ doesn't need right now. It makes his head spin in conflict and Sebastian pinches the bridge of his nose even as he feels exhaustion creep up on him. "But I think..."

_The scratches of the table are rough against his cheek and smell like electricity and burnt hair. He blinks slowly at the moving, writhing shadows coming from a door that wasn't opened before. Fingers card through his hair in time with little jolts of electricity that seem to roll through him like waves. Ruben's voice fills him like the taste of the heady wine on the back of his tongue. "You're mine now."_

"It's after one," Ruben says. His voice loud in the kitchen like neither of them has spoken in hours. Sebastian jerks his head up and stares at the man confused. Ruben's standing right in front of him, a lot closer than he was a few moments ago. "Elk River is a small town, Seb, no one will be open to rent you a room. Stay here."

"It's that late?" Fuck, Sebastian hadn't thought of the way everything changes with size of the town. In Krimson hotels don't ever close. There's always someone at the desk willing to hand a key over for money there. And going back there now really isn't good. "How the hell'd it get so late?"

"Stay," Ruben says without addressing his questions. It's not a request and Sebastian knows it's going to be a real fucking bad idea.

"Sure," the word flies out of his mouth the second he opens it. Heedless of anything his mind's screaming, and even that goes quiet when Ruben smiles before walking out.

"This way, Seb."

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	11. Edited For Site Policies

**By Choice  
><strong>

**A Word**: Incomplete chapter due to site ratings. It's pure sex though.

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><p>.<p>

It's been over twenty years since Sebastian sent a note with a yes or no box to check to Alicia Garcia in class. He'd sweated over that piece of paper all week before getting the courage to send it, and the awful way his stomach had swooped and curled in on itself when she read it nearly made him throw up. That feeling had slowly gotten better with age and experience. He'd lost his fear of rejection the more often he got turned down, and the anticipation of getting a 'yes' hadn't been quite as high without that fear. Something he'd appreciated when was twenty and debating between continuing college or going straight for the academy. A decision that was stressful enough for him to appreciate the fact that when he flirted with the barista —whose gender he'd never figured out— at his favorite place he wasn't as caught up in being turned down every time.

Twenty years and he's right back to that day he'd thrown a folded up square of paper at Alicia's desk when the teacher wasn't looking. Sebastian stumbles on the stairs. Over nothing at all that he can see and it's not the late hour he can blame for that. His mind is clear and very alert now. Unfortunately so when Ruben puts a hand on his lower back in wordless support. And then leaves it there.

Sebastian feels like laughing when Ruben stops outside of his own room and attempts to look regretful. "I don't have company often. Most of the rooms are closed up, it's easier to keep up with if there's less to take care of."

His mind fritzes just a little more because he's pretty sure Ruben's going to suggest sleeping with him as a result.

"What?" Sebastian doesn't believe that excuse for one damn second though. Not just because the man is doing a poor job of acting, but because he's pretty sure he's heard that kind of line in the pornos that have slowly been slipping back into his life, and that's just the kind of cliché that would make this night complete. "Are you fucking serious?"

Ruben actually purses his lips in a fleeting expression of annoyance as he sighs. "Don't argue."

Sebastian's shirt gives a little when Ruben fists his hand in it and pulls him into the room. He goes with it even though he knows he really should be turning around right now. Should be going out to his damn car and camp out in the back seat for a few hours before taking off and finishing this case without further tangling himself up.

Because he is tangled up. Badly and it's only been two days.

"This is a horrible idea," Sebastian says it out loud because it needs to be said, and Ruben pulls him straight to the bed.

"For you, yes," Ruben only lets him go long enough to turn around, and Sebastian's shirt is a little looser when Ruben fixes him with a hard stare that's all calculation. "Incredibly so. Now strip."

Sebastian doesn't move. Part of him is still screaming at him to back the fuck off and run, but it's a small part that gets smaller when Ruben steps closer. Close enough that when he tilts his head up Sebastian can feel the warmth of his breath before he kisses him. An awkward push of lips that kills off all his objections in a matter of seconds.

It's clumsy and awkward until Sebastian gets an arm around Ruben and pulls him in close against his chest. Tilts his head to the side and down because the man's shorter than him by just enough inches to make him very conscious of it. When he's not busy being conscious of the contrasting rough and smooth lips against his own. His bottom lip feels chapped and dry, a result of the burns that Sebastian wonders at when he licks the bottom lip and Ruben doesn't react. Not like he does when Sebastian transfers his attention to the top lip.

Ruben's mouth opens instantly and he relaxed, just a little. More when he gets a hand in Sebastian's hair and _pulls_ his head down into the kiss. Wet and eager with both of their teeth pressing almost painfully until Ruben pushes away.

Sebastian's shirt is fully unbuttoned and his belt hanging loose. He hadn't even felt Ruben's fingers moving. "Jesus you work fast."

"On the bed," Ruben's voice is lower and thicker as he runs his eyes down Sebastian with a little less calculation and more heat. His tongue flicks out over his lips slowly like he's considering the taste there. He reaches behind him and grabs Sebastian's hand hard. Forcing it back a little with a wince.

Sebastian moves instantly with a wince of his own. The reminder that he doesn't really know all that much about Ruben's injuries -things that still bother him after all these years- enough to cool him down a bit and make his spinning mind start to pay a-fucking-ttention. "Shit, sorry."

"I don't feel as much in some places," Ruben explains as he moves away from the bed and stops Sebastian from doing the same with a hand. He turns back to look at him and in the dim light of the room it's hard to tell where the bandages on his face and his skin end in places. "It's easy to damage the tissue in those places if I'm not careful," he pushes again until the back of Sebastian's knees touch the bed. "So you're just going to have to do exactly what I say. Got it, Seb?"

Shit, but Ruben could be pushy. Sebastian'd be lying if he said he didn't really like it though.

"Dunno, I've been told I don't take orders too well," Sebastian quips and is rewarded with a slow smile as Ruben's hand drops, fingers catching demandingly on one of the loops in his pants. Sebastian shrugs off his already unbuttoned shirt and then peels off the undershirt that's started to stick to his chest with the hint of sweat. His vest is gone, and he wonders if he'd taken it off at the door earlier to try to get a reprieve from the heat he's not really feeling much anymore.

"All of it," Ruben says, a low whisper as he runs his hands over Sebastian's bare chest. Fingers tensing when he runs them back up, tugging a little at the hair on his chest as Ruben watches his hands with an avid expression.

Sebastian swallows and his pants pretty much fall off once he unbuttons them. The weight of his belt taking them down to tangle dangerously around his feet. The glide of eight unbandaged fingers is warm over his stomach as Ruben hooks his hands into the elastic of Sebastian's boxers. Pushing them down with impatience.

"Fuck," Sebastian wavers on his feet and has to fall back on the bed to not fall over. He's still got his fucking shoes on and that's not making it easy at all to kick the tangle off of him. "Shit, let me-"

Ruben crouches down and Sebastian's chest spasms at the sight of his head going down, but the man only efficiently removes his shoes. Two quick tugs and the pants and boxers disappear before he stands up. Deft fingers already working at the far looser clothing he wears as Sebastian takes the chance to move back fully onto the bed.

[[Site rules demand I cut it off here. Look to my author profile for a link to an unedited version.]]

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	12. Also Edited For Site Policies

**By Choice  
><strong>

**A Word**: I swear there is a plot to this. It's not going to be all sex all the time. No matter how fun that is. ;)

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><p>.<p>

_Sebastian pants into the soft mattress as something broad and cold drags up the crack of his ass. The blunt end is slick and catches on the rim of his hole as a hand splays out on his lower back. Commanding he stay still even though Sebastian couldn't move if he wanted to._

_"It's an unconventional use," Ruben says, nearly purrs, as the object -a rod? a dildo? what?- slides in. Splitting Sebastian open because whatever's on it to slick the way in isn't enough even with him unable to tense up. "The outcome is the same in the end, but I do like the way you look like this, Seb."_

_His breath hitches and his heart stops as the world whites out._

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Sebastian wakes up late and alone. He knows it's late from the grit in his eyes and the way his body doesn't want to do what his mind needs it to do. Five hours of sleep is what he's used to getting and he can wake up from that sharp and ready to go. Give him more than that and it feels like he's dragging the world with him as he sits up. There's a halo of light creeping in from the tightly blocked window and it lets in enough light for him to confirm what he knew the second he dragged his eyes open. He's alone in Ruben's room.

"Fuck," in the light of day, the feeling of being well fucked is nice and also dread inducing. He's expecting to get his ass caught by Kidman or Joseph as he pours himself out of the bed to look for his clothes. Expects to have to face their disbelief that he'd be so stupid and then their combined wrath at getting mixed up like this with a client.

Too late to worry about that now though. He finds his clothes on a desk in the corner. Not folded but laid out neat enough they haven't gotten any more wrinkles on them than they got being taken off. Which is a lot as it is.

His belt is draped over the chair and close to falling off under the uneven weight. He rescues it from falling and slides his phone out from the normally empty clip to check it. There's no calls or messages waiting for him, and the time is edging past noon. Sebastian curses and grabs the clothing before turning to look at the second door in the room that he knows doesn't lead to the hall.

It opens up on another room instead of the bathroom he was hoping for. A perfectly clean and ready to be used room. "Closed up my ass."

He's forced out into the hallway and it takes three more doors before he finds a bathroom. Large and it probably used to be ornate at one point in time. Used to but there's obvious signs it's been altered for Ruben with little care given to how the newer elements mesh with the old feel the rest of the place has going. Sebastian doesn't really care about the looks of the place he's just grateful there's a shower.

With _pressure_. Honest to god water pressure that nearly makes him groan when the warm water hits his skin. His muscles are sore for some reason and he lets the pounding water loosen him up before cleaning himself off quickly. Hissing a bit as his fingers catch on some unexpected scabs while washing his hair, and when the soap trails down his chest to the light scratches that have stayed with him.

The bathroom's too big for his shower to have built up much steam and gotten some of the wrinkles out of the clothes he'd hung up next to the shower. Sebastian sighs and pulls on his undershirt. Leaving the top for the moment. The boxers are probably wearable again but Sebastian leaves off on them anyway. Not the first time he's had to freeball it.

There's no razor that he can find in the cabinet by the sink, but he finds some toothpaste and mouthwash that kills the cottony feel in his mouth easily enough. His shoes hadn't been in the room and Sebastian wanders out without them.

The mansion is still and dim as usual, and he walks through the parts he already knows. Half in hope of finding Ruben but mostly in search of food. His stomach is tight and demanding after missing dinner the night before, and he remembers seeing quite a bit of food in the kitchen.

He doesn't make it past the dining room. Ruben's seated on one of the chairs, eyes already turned expectantly towards the door when Sebastian steps in. He thinks he ought to feel more awkward about wandering the man's house only half dressed, but Ruben's not wearing much more than he is. Also, there's a rather large plate of sandwiches on the table that keeps Sebastian from feeling much beyond hunger.

"You should have eaten last night," Ruben remarks when Sebastian helps himself without asking. It's way too much food for the man himself anyway. Ruben doesn't follow that statement up though as he moves on to another subject as Sebastian sits after eating one to grab another. "I need to talk to Valerio today about a few things."

There's a tight note in his voice that leaves Sebastian no doubt what things the man needs to discuss. He doesn't say anything about it though as he continues to eat. He's completely _starved_. Like Ella's greasy platter the day before hadn't left him stuffed.

"Mr. Higgins usually takes me places I need to go, but he's disappeared on me," Ruben continues patiently. Not looking at Sebastian at all, his eyes on his nails instead. The skin around them is scarred, but the nails themselves are kept neatly short and clean. "If you wouldn't mind..."

He's asking but there's no reason for Sebastian to answer. He'll take the man into town or he'll look like an asshole. An asshole who doesn't want to be paid no less. Sebastian wipes a crumbling bit of bread off of his face and only says, "I need to go to the church today."

"It's not in the town itself," Ruben says and looks up at him when Sebastian pushes the plate away a bit. "They're very proud of it, and it's off the well-travelled roads. People don't like to let strangers know it even exists."

"Damn strange for a church," Sebastian relaxes a bit more. Ruben's pure business right now, and he's not letting any of what happened last night color their interaction right now. It's as relieving as it is confusing. "Thought they were all about welcoming strangers and lost souls?"

"There's a lot of strange things about that church," Ruben says darkly and reaches out to move the plate even further away from them. Sweeping the table clean with the sleeve of his half buttoned shirt afterwards. "It's one reason why I withdrew the family support from them as soon as I could."

Which would make Ruben's sudden appearance near it suspicious unless he can convince the man to- Sebastian frowns to himself and stops that thought cold. Ruben is his _client_ -and a part of his mind laughs at that thought now- not a partner to help him out. He tosses the half formed plan he'd made and nods at the food. "Do you ever eat?"

"A lot and constantly," Ruben says as he stands. "My body never really recovered from the hypermetabolism."

"The what now?"

"The-" Ruben stops and looks down at him annoyed and Sebastian's ready for a brush off when he sighs and offers a grudging explanation. "After the fire my metabolism increased significantly. It's a common response to thermal injuries and persisted for a long time. My body still seems to think it is starving."

Ruben isn't light. Sebastian already knows that, but the way his clothes drape over his body give it that illusion. Even knowing the man feels solid it's easy for Sebastian to think otherwise.

There's strength in the fingers that thread through his hair, and in the arm that pulls him up and out of his seat even as Ruben falls back onto the now clear top of the table. Discussion over and his mind already on something entirely different.

"You eat on this," Sebastian hears himself say when he should be saying no. Distantly because he's already focused hard on the way Ruben's shirt gapes open. Bandages wind down his neck and cover a good portion his chest, but there's an edge of pale skin along one drooping edge that Sebastian wants to follow.

"And now I'm going to fuck on it," Ruben says patiently as he pulls on Sebastian's hair. "Or do you object to that?"

"Nope," fuck no. Sebastian gets up on the table and braces himself over Ruben. The hard wood is going to be hell on his knees but worth it. He almost says something about Ruben being the one who has to eat with people at the table, but has enough sense left in his lust dumb brain to keep that to himself.

He helps by distracting himself with Ruben's clothing. The pants are loose and slide right off with no protest from Ruben. Sebastian eases a hand into his open shirt. Splaying his fingers out over the bare skin he finds there as an arm wraps around his head. Pulling him down into a distracting kiss as Ruben's legs wrap around him.

Ruben tastes like the mint of the mouthwash he'd found upstairs, and he growls a little when Sebastian presses down. Rubbing against him as he moves his hand out of the shirt and down. His fingers slide over the raised edges of scar tissue before finding Ruben's dick. Growing hard and feeling reassuringly normal.

"Come on," Sebastian breaks off to mutter. "Take it all off."

[[Same as before, story edited to fit site policies. Check author profile for a link to the unedited story.]]

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	13. Chapter 13

**By Choice  
><strong>

**A Word**: Ibid.

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><p>.<p>

Sebastian staggers into a small bathroom he's surprised to see has a mirror in it. The first one he's seen yet. He doesn't bother looking in it as he twists the taps on to cold and puts his whole head in the sink. The water is not very cold at all but he's built up a layer of sweat again and there's no time to shower if he doesn't want to waste the rest of the day.

He tilts his head to the side and gulps down several mouthfuls of water before he scrubs his fingers through his hair. Water runs down from the long hair and down his neck to soak into his undershirt which he's going to have to ditch now. It's soaked through with sweat and stained with come. He strips it off when he stands up and uses the cleanest parts to scrub at his hair.

The lights are dim in the room, but Sebastian looks about as tired as he feels. His cheeks are dark with stubble that's only a few hours away from becoming a beard. He runs his fingers over it and scratches against the grain a little. Vivid red lines curve over the top of his shoulders. The red already fading as he rolls them and feels the slight burn that goes down his back.

Christ, but he's going to be feeling that for a while. He isn't young anymore. Multiple rounds like that aren't something that he can just do anymore. He's going to need to find some coffee somewhere, but before that he's going to need something to wear. There's a few shirts in his trunk and a small kit to clean up with for when things happen too fast and he can't afford the time to get home.

His shoes have migrated down to near the front door next to his trench coat. Hanging neatly on the hook of a rack he hadn't noticed before. It's warmed up outside, enough that he doesn't need the coat that scratches against his skin but he leaves it on anyway so that he's not wandering around the front of the mansion half naked. No one's likely to see, but he's not going that route if he can help it.

There's three shirts and a spare tie rolled around his kit, but he doesn't take off back inside with it right away. The world outside is loud and bright as ever and Sebastian actually relishes the change. The jarring contrast shakes his mind clear of some lingering lust stupid thoughts. He leans against the open trunk and fishes his phone out of his pocket. Marveling that it's stayed in there the whole time as he rings up Kidman.

"Yes?" She answers after a long minute. Drawing the word out into an even stronger question. There's a hint of confusion under it all.

"What've you got for me?" Sebastian prompts and wonders if he's caught her on lunch or something.

"About what?" She sounds wary and the lack of an immediate answer is troubling.

"Cabrera," Sebastian frowns. It's not like Kidman to be off her game like this. "You feeling alright?"

"I'm fine," she answers quickly and he hears something shift in her voice. When she continues it's in her normal brisk tone. "The hospital was a dead end. They refused to confirm or deny. Just kept saying it was beyond their control. Joseph doesn't have anything to add and I wasn't sure how much you wanted to share."

"That's fine. This probably won't have much to do with his jurisdiction," Sebastian sets his things on the bumper and begins to move the rest of the crap in his trunk around with one hand. "You sure you're good? You sound off."

"I said I'm fine," Kidman sounds annoyed now. "I was out late last night at a bar with some friends."

"You have those?" Sebastian asks. Affecting more surprise and shock than he feels.

"More than you do," Kidman snaps back. Sounding just like the Kidman he knows and pays. "Did you need anything from me? I'm following up on sending hard copies of the reports for the Wenn case."

"They're going to court?" He's not surprised given the amount of money involved with that case of nasty blackmail. The risk of it all coming out not enough of a fear anymore for Wenn and his two unofficial wives.

"Next week. The lawyers were just in today," she confirms easily. "So if you need anything let me know now before I head out to hijack someone's copier."

"Might have something later," tracking the pastor would be nice but it can wait for a bit. He might get more info in town to help out with a direction there. "Focus on getting that extra commission for us."

"Then quit bothering me," Kidman hangs up and Sebastian's willing to bet she's going to show up at the precinct with the folders, two coffees, and a smile that's going to make everyone not ask why a civilian is chatting Joseph up next to the copier. He's seen it happen a few times before.

Sebastian slips the phone into a pocket in his coat and turns to the mostly cleared area of the trunk. He peels up the section covering the spare tire and jack. Underneath the little donut is his handgun in a worn shoulder holster that's soft to the touch, and several clips of ammo.

He folds it all into his shirt bundle before shutting and locking it all up. The gun is his but it's not his name attached to it anymore. He can, technically, own it and get a permit to carry. In reality, any application he puts in will get shut down for unknown reasons. He'd found that out fast the first year he left the force. When he'd barely been able to get his business going, and every year when he has to fight hard to keep it legal. Someone, somewhere really wants to bury Sebastian and he's learned to work outside of the rules to counter that.

Cabrera is a wild card but he's already proven willing to resort to violence. Sebastian isn't going to take any chances. Better to be armed and not need it than find himself up the creek without any way to defend himself. He just hopes it doesn't come to that. His luck's never been all that good though.

.

.

He looks presentable enough when he's done despite the wrinkles in his pants. More like a man who fell asleep on someone's couch than a man who's had his brains fucked out and doesn't have the sense to do a walk of shame home. It's a small difference but he'll take it.

"Are you sure-?" Sebastian starts to ask when he turns the car off and they're both looking up at the hospice.

"Yes," Ruben interrupts with no little impatience. Sebastian has been asking him the same question for over an hour now. "I don't like that there might be more hidden in Laura's medical records. I have full access to everything, and I should have seen those reports long ago."

Ruben doesn't even wait. He lets himself out and strides up to the door. Confident and looking a lot more put together than Sebastian in a long white coat and that same black beanie with stripes he wore- Jesus, just a few days ago? It feels like weeks already since Ruben first came in to his office in Krimson City.

There's a sound from one of the side rooms that Sebastian hadn't seen the other day. Low and constant enough that's it probably a show or something. Ruben turns to where Valerio's office is and the man himself rises from behind his desk with a welcoming smile that only falters slightly when he sees Sebastian trailing the man.

"Ruben, I wasn't expecting you today," Valerio says and completely ignores Sebastian's presence as he waves at an empty chair which Ruben is already sitting in even before the man can finish his sentence. "Ah, now, what can I do for you Ruben?" Valerio asks with understandable puzzlement as he settles back into his chair. Sebastian hangs out at the door, not following Ruben in. "It's been a while since we talked of Laura's treatment. Have you thought about those therapies I mentioned last time?"

"I want to see Laura's files," Ruben doesn't play around with the good doctor's talk. "_All_ of her records."

Valerio frowns and his eyes wander over to Sebastian briefly before the frown disappears with damning quickness as understanding seems to hit him. "Now, really, Ruben I don't think that's-"

"Now, Valerio," Ruben growls and the sound cuts through the room like a knife. Menacing and dark as it effects everyone.

Valerio goes pale. His eyes are round and fearful behind his glasses as he looks at Ruben who's doing a damn fine job of looming over the man while seated. Sebastian-

Sebastian's grateful he stayed just outside of the office as he discretely shifts the fall of his coat in front of him. Jesus fucking Christ, but that growl is hot enough to make his dick stir in tired interest. Ruben's casually threatening his way to getting what he wants without actually having to resort to outright threatening. It's all in his stance and voice, a badass confidence that Sebastian's always been a sucker for. It's the reason why he'd nearly gotten several black eyes ogling Myra's ass when they were first paired up.

"Yes, of course," Valerio relents, sounding far less enthused as he slowly stands to shuffle to the filing cabinet. Opening the wrong drawer to make a show of looking as he tries to drag his feet further. "Are you sure, though Ruben? There are some things, perhaps, that should-"

"Valerio," Ruben doesn't raise his voice but the single name is filled with a cold wrath that makes the doctor swallow hard. Sebastian too, but for his own very different reasons as that slight interest becomes more. "The file, now. Or do you need me to get it from the third drawer myself?"

The file comes out fast and is placed on the desk with an almost heartbreakingly sad look from the doctor. Ruben rests one hand on it but doesn't actually look down. His eyes are fixed hard on Valerio. Even as he tilts his head back towards the door. "A moment if you will, Seb? I'd like to discuss this with Valerio. In private."

"Sure thing, boss," Sebastian quips though neither man seems to hear him. Ruben's still staring the larger man down and Valerio is doing a fine impression of a rabbit staring into the jaws of a wolf. He reaches in to catch the door handle with two fingers and pulls it shut before stepping away.

He doesn't need to hear what's about to go down in there. It's not part of his case. It also gives him some time to deal with fact he's in a hospice, half hard, and wondering if he can get Ruben onto one of those little cots a few doors down.

"You're a fucking teenager," Sebastian shakes his head over his own libido. Half exasperated but mostly amused by it. It's been a while since he felt like this after all, and he can't really help enjoying it. "Un-fucking-believable, Castellanos."

With time to kill and not a lot left in the hospice to interest him, it's not surprising to find himself outside of Laura's room. There's no change at all from the other day. Laura still rests there like a damaged doll. Unmoving with only the machines around her letting the world know she's still breathing.

He watches her for a while and wonders if maybe this coma wasn't the best thing to happen to her. Ruben's explanations were brief. Clinical and precise as he told just enough to outline a horrifying picture of abuse that Sebastian's years as a cop are all too happy to paint in with vivid color. Disfigured and in such a public place as a hospital or hospice Laura would have been free of her dad for probably the first time in her life.

"I'm sorry, kid," Sebastian apologizes because he doesn't think anyone else is going to. Both her parents are dead, and the people who should have stepped in to stop it long ago probably don't even remember her. Valerio might but Sebastian's not going to hold out much hope for that. He nods at her still figure and turns to leave. "Real damn sorry."

"Seb-astian?" His name comes out stuttering and drawled out like it's a foreign word and stops him in his tracks. The voice is familiar enough that he turns back around and doesn't look at Laura. Instead he steps around her bed to look at the floor and the figure that was hidden from sight before.

"Leslie, right?" Sebastian's pretty sure that's the kid's name, but he's not at all sure what the guy's doing huddled in a miserable looking little ball in Laura's room. On the other side of the bed so that no one can see him until they step in. Or until he opens his mouth.

Blue eyes so pale they're nearly colorless look up at him fearfully, and Sebastian hisses. The bruise from the day before seems to have tripled in size over night and it looks downright nasty now as yellow and green add a sickly color to it. "Damn, kid."

"N-next to the train," Leslie responds and Sebastian frowns at him until he holds up something between his hands. A picture from a magazine it looks like. Crumbled and creased from constant touching. It's some travel advertising and there is a train on it when he looks with a large dam rising almost improbably in the back ground. The words are lost to the wrinkles.

"Yeah, guess you're right," Sebastian says with a grin. He doesn't touch the picture because it's obviously a well-loved treasure to the kid, and also because his arms keep flinching back slightly. Like he expects Sebastian to try to grab it away. "You like trains, Leslie?"

He puts his hands back down, bringing the picture close to his chest and nods. "Like trains, like trains, like trains," the repeating seems to be a thing for him. Nervous and linked to something, but the kid himself seems harmless. "Leslie, will go home. Go home on a train. Someday."

"Yeah? Sounds nice," Sebastian says and then takes a step back as his ears catch what sounds like his name being called. Valerio. Huh, that went quicker than he thought. "Well, I got to go..."

He trails off as Leslie's head jerks up and he reads the fear on it easily. The kid's hiding here and he doesn't want to be found.

"Hey, I won't tell anyone you're here. Laura could use some company, right? Why don't you talk to her," he suggests as he hears his name called again. A vague remembrance of the unconscious still being able to hear flitting through his mind as he backs out of the room. Leslie sitting up enough to watch him over the bed. "I'll bet she's never heard the stories you can tell."

"She can't hear," the words chase him out of the room. Low and mournful enough to raise the hairs on the back of his neck even as they fade into a mutter. "She can't hear, she can't..."

.

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End file.
